a) male who would say anything just to have sex with anyone, male or female, and after they get the sex from that person they will then either
1) stop calling, or
2) proudly get married to the person, either after some time together or right away, or
3) keeps calling back for more sex until he gets sick of that or finds a new orifice to insert himself into like an electrical outlet
b) male who is not in control of his own household
c) a man who would literally say or do anything, he approves of anything and everything, he will believe in anything, he would believe in nothing, he has no standards, he would do anything just to get sex out of a woman or from a man
d) sitting home crying by the phone ass men who wonder "why won't she or he call me I thought we were in love", "we could be so good together", "we would make a great ass couple", "why she don't want me", "I know she wants me"
e) sitting home plotting on another orifice man talmbout "I bet you she gon' let me hit it y'all, watch, look, she goin for it"
f) submissive male who enjoys being used, abused, brought to the edge of death, and dominated
g) male simpleton, a man who literally does not care
h) men who change themselves for sex
i) men who see any person in whom they have any sexual or romantic interest, as their prize
1) stop calling, or
2) proudly get married to the person, either after some time together or right away, or
3) keeps calling back for more sex until he gets sick of that or finds a new orifice to insert himself into like an electrical outlet
b) male who is not in control of his own household
c) a man who would literally say or do anything, he approves of anything and everything, he will believe in anything, he would believe in nothing, he has no standards, he would do anything just to get sex out of a woman or from a man
d) sitting home crying by the phone ass men who wonder "why won't she or he call me I thought we were in love", "we could be so good together", "we would make a great ass couple", "why she don't want me", "I know she wants me"
e) sitting home plotting on another orifice man talmbout "I bet you she gon' let me hit it y'all, watch, look, she goin for it"
f) submissive male who enjoys being used, abused, brought to the edge of death, and dominated
g) male simpleton, a man who literally does not care
h) men who change themselves for sex
i) men who see any person in whom they have any sexual or romantic interest, as their prize
Man: "I'm a strict buddhist. I don't believe in killing anything. I'm a pacifist. I hate guns. I went vegan. I workout every day. I love working out. I just lost that last 10 pounds. I was working real hard on that. Look at my thighs."
Woman: "I love meat. I'm a christian. I believe in Jesus and my 9 millimeter handguns. I think it's perfectly fine to kill someone if that's what the mood called for me to do. I don't workout. I like to watch tv and eat bacon all day long. I'm 100 pounds overweight."
Man: "Wow. I like meat too. I was just telling my friend the other day that I was considering the church. I hate working out. Let's get some bacon, a steak, crab legs for dinner so we can watch netflix, and chill together. And I want extra butter on the popcorn"
Woman: "Sounds great. Meet you at 10pm. Bring the food and your password. Simp." rolls her eyes.
Man: "Yeah, I know I'm a simp. That is kinda fucked up but what can I say I want some pussy real bad. It's been a long time." except he would never actually say that to her at all and it's up to her to see through all of that or else help him end up as an overweight, unhealthy man who doesn't keep up his own standards, a hypocrite.
Woman: "I love meat. I'm a christian. I believe in Jesus and my 9 millimeter handguns. I think it's perfectly fine to kill someone if that's what the mood called for me to do. I don't workout. I like to watch tv and eat bacon all day long. I'm 100 pounds overweight."
Man: "Wow. I like meat too. I was just telling my friend the other day that I was considering the church. I hate working out. Let's get some bacon, a steak, crab legs for dinner so we can watch netflix, and chill together. And I want extra butter on the popcorn"
Woman: "Sounds great. Meet you at 10pm. Bring the food and your password. Simp." rolls her eyes.
Man: "Yeah, I know I'm a simp. That is kinda fucked up but what can I say I want some pussy real bad. It's been a long time." except he would never actually say that to her at all and it's up to her to see through all of that or else help him end up as an overweight, unhealthy man who doesn't keep up his own standards, a hypocrite.
by Vita Smart July 17, 2022
Get the simp mug.Originally a term for the "nice guy best friend." A guy who likes a girl and is always with her, but he is not her boyfriend. Rather than getting kisses and sex, a simp has to settle for hugs. In other words, a guy who gets stuck in the "friend-zone"
Is Chris sleeping with that girl? Naw, he's just her simp.
Is Chris ever going to get laid? Naw, he's just simp on Twitch E-girls and pays for their Onlyfan accounts.
Is Chris ever going to get laid? Naw, he's just simp on Twitch E-girls and pays for their Onlyfan accounts.
by ilovemakima July 21, 2022
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A person (usually a guy) who tries waaay too hard to get the attention, love or sex from the girl they like.
In most cases: a) the girl doesn’t even know the guy enough; b) she doesn’t care the slightest; c) she is obviously not interested.
Don’t confuse simping with just being nice, simping is being too intense and over-the-top.
In September a lot of simps can be found in horny jail.
In most cases: a) the girl doesn’t even know the guy enough; b) she doesn’t care the slightest; c) she is obviously not interested.
Don’t confuse simping with just being nice, simping is being too intense and over-the-top.
In September a lot of simps can be found in horny jail.
Jessica: Have you heard it? Pimp the Simp and his simp squad went simping a smoking hot redhead wearing leather jacket. Luckily Simp police led by captain Badass was nearby and intervened in time.
John Doe: Whoa! Were Pimp and Co sent to horny jail for simping?
Jessica: No, captain Badass was in a good mood, so she just fully restrained them and gave keys to the redhead after doing that “Don’t start now” dance.
John Doe: That’s brutal! How do you know all this in such detail?
Jessica: It’s simple - I am the redhead.
(Removes her blond wig and reveals herself in all fiery glory)
John Doe: (thinking) She is smoking hot, maybe I should simp her…
Jessica Redhead: (Uses her telepathic abilities to read his thoughts) Bad idea.
(Pulls out a badge showing that she is captain Badass).
John Doe: (Looks both intrigued and horrified)
Jessica Badass Redhead: (With a menacing glare and slightly grinning) I think we both know what happens next.
(Suddenly the ground cracks and from a chasm in a beam of light emerges Dua Lipa. She starts singing “Don’t start now”. Everybody is dancing)
Me: (to the waitress) This cocktail is nova! Gimme another one.
John Doe: Whoa! Were Pimp and Co sent to horny jail for simping?
Jessica: No, captain Badass was in a good mood, so she just fully restrained them and gave keys to the redhead after doing that “Don’t start now” dance.
John Doe: That’s brutal! How do you know all this in such detail?
Jessica: It’s simple - I am the redhead.
(Removes her blond wig and reveals herself in all fiery glory)
John Doe: (thinking) She is smoking hot, maybe I should simp her…
Jessica Redhead: (Uses her telepathic abilities to read his thoughts) Bad idea.
(Pulls out a badge showing that she is captain Badass).
John Doe: (Looks both intrigued and horrified)
Jessica Badass Redhead: (With a menacing glare and slightly grinning) I think we both know what happens next.
(Suddenly the ground cracks and from a chasm in a beam of light emerges Dua Lipa. She starts singing “Don’t start now”. Everybody is dancing)
Me: (to the waitress) This cocktail is nova! Gimme another one.
by NeonCyberpunk July 28, 2022
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