A suburbanite with delusions of being a wild-west frontiersman.
* Puts on a pair of snakeskin boots and drives a brand new, sparkling ~$50k short-bed Ford to his middle management job at a major corporation.
* Calls himself a "country boy" but has never even done any form of manual labor and probably has girl hands.
* Listens to "country" (country pop bullshit about "beer, trucks and guns" which virtue signals conservative politics, not real country/bluegrass which is melancholic and mostly about being broke, sad, or shooting your cheating wife).
* Owns 20 guns but never actually goes shooting because he has to drive an hour to the nearest range - will never know the joy of shooting random shit from your front porch.
* Spends $30k on a wedding with a hot gold digging wife who will age horribly and harass supermarket cashiers in her free time.
* Emigrated from California to another state but trash talks Californians who emigrate to other states, thinks he's "one of the good ones" because he votes Republican. Believes other Californians are "spreading their politics everywhere" while destroying old town politics with his own strain of anti-union wing nut libertarianism.
* probably believes prosperity theology
* easily grifted by companies like black rifle coffee
* Puts on a pair of snakeskin boots and drives a brand new, sparkling ~$50k short-bed Ford to his middle management job at a major corporation.
* Calls himself a "country boy" but has never even done any form of manual labor and probably has girl hands.
* Listens to "country" (country pop bullshit about "beer, trucks and guns" which virtue signals conservative politics, not real country/bluegrass which is melancholic and mostly about being broke, sad, or shooting your cheating wife).
* Owns 20 guns but never actually goes shooting because he has to drive an hour to the nearest range - will never know the joy of shooting random shit from your front porch.
* Spends $30k on a wedding with a hot gold digging wife who will age horribly and harass supermarket cashiers in her free time.
* Emigrated from California to another state but trash talks Californians who emigrate to other states, thinks he's "one of the good ones" because he votes Republican. Believes other Californians are "spreading their politics everywhere" while destroying old town politics with his own strain of anti-union wing nut libertarianism.
* probably believes prosperity theology
* easily grifted by companies like black rifle coffee
The suburban cowboy, Johnwaynus imitatus, is easily identified by its Reagan/Bush '84 trucker cap. Do not approach under any circumstance or it may attempt unsolicited discussion of gas prices or q anon.
by Chuck Shiesty August 3, 2022
Get the Suburban Cowboymug. When someone is so gay that calling them a faggot simply won't do. 1 Salad Cowboy - A super faggot who is not only a gay dick ridin' cowboy, but one who also enjoys giving a good salad toss.
by Irishpat666 September 23, 2016
Get the Salad Cowboymug. by Ghabm August 10, 2019
Get the Cowboy Magicmug. The act of a red bearded man in a Cowboy hat walks by and sticks his finger in you ass and smells it just to get his rocks off!
by 090iop January 10, 2020
Get the Spicy Cowboymug. One of Thin Lizzy's greatest tracks. Arguably one of the finest songs ever written, the guitar can leave you in a mess after twenty straight orgasms.
"Hey dude, have you heard cowboy song?"
"Yeah man, needed a mop for the semen on the ceiling afterwards though"
"Yeah man, needed a mop for the semen on the ceiling afterwards though"
by FretWizard February 2, 2014
Get the cowboy songmug. Heartbroken cowboy is heartbroken by the tragedy in Greece.
When my little brother sees his goldfish has died, he's going to be a totally heartbroken cowboy.
When my little brother sees his goldfish has died, he's going to be a totally heartbroken cowboy.
by Andellic July 17, 2018
Get the heartbroken cowboymug. by 5zach_69 January 25, 2020
Get the The winking cowboymug.