A hypocritical statement used in a situation in which everythings going right with you, yet wrong with someone else.
Boy 1: hey did you turn in your paper today.
Boy 2: I couldnt, my computer turned off in the middle of my paper, then once i re-typed it, my printer ran out of ink and paper.
Boy 1: That sucks, but If It Helps, I turned mines in.
Boy 2: I couldnt, my computer turned off in the middle of my paper, then once i re-typed it, my printer ran out of ink and paper.
Boy 1: That sucks, but If It Helps, I turned mines in.
by Numero A November 3, 2009
Get the If It Helps mug.#1 I went to the bathroom, if you know what I mean.
#2 I went home, if you know what I mean.
#3 I went out, if you know what I mean.
#4 I said hi to my best friend, If you know what I mean.
#5 I played with my friends, if you know what I mean
#6 I ate at Mcdonalds, if you know what I mean
#2 I went home, if you know what I mean.
#3 I went out, if you know what I mean.
#4 I said hi to my best friend, If you know what I mean.
#5 I played with my friends, if you know what I mean
#6 I ate at Mcdonalds, if you know what I mean
by Pyodyrowda February 17, 2009
Get the if you know what I mean mug.by Dtmwagt__ October 26, 2016
Get the If you insist mug.A less assertive phrase to substitute for "as if", which was commonly used during the Valley Girl phase most frequently in the western United States. (sarcasm.)
by C_nonomous September 15, 2005
Get the If only mug.An if statement is a programming construct that executes logic based on application purpose. many people claim programming is difficult, but as can be seen by this very simple example, variables, functions and if statements all make sense once applied to a layman's terms use.
DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person>
DECLARE disability = <insert name of disability>
if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then
do send-to-gas-chamber
else
do commit-suicide
end if
function send-to-gas-chamber{
do grab $person_you_hate
then shove $person_you_hate
then close door
then turn knob
watch gas kill $person_you_hate
return happy()}
function commit-suicide{
do grab $person_you_hate
then humiliate $person_you_hate
then hand $person_you_hate noose
then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table
watch $person_you_hate die
return happy()}
DECLARE person_you_hate = <insert name of hated person>
DECLARE disability = <insert name of disability>
if ($person_you_hate = $disability) then
do send-to-gas-chamber
else
do commit-suicide
end if
function send-to-gas-chamber{
do grab $person_you_hate
then shove $person_you_hate
then close door
then turn knob
watch gas kill $person_you_hate
return happy()}
function commit-suicide{
do grab $person_you_hate
then humiliate $person_you_hate
then hand $person_you_hate noose
then force $person_you_hate onto wonky table
watch $person_you_hate die
return happy()}
Im going to use an if statement to settle this dispute
Dammit man, im an if statement, not a Star Trek character
If statement = stupid then
do kill-yourself-for-reading-this
else
do shoot-a-small-furry-animal-for-fun
end if
Dammit man, im an if statement, not a Star Trek character
If statement = stupid then
do kill-yourself-for-reading-this
else
do shoot-a-small-furry-animal-for-fun
end if
by honneamise December 4, 2018
Get the if statement mug.An "If-A-Cop" Story is one that you concoct when you're with a group of friends, doing something you're probably not supposed to, and you want everyone's stories to match up should you encounter some sort of law enforcement while out on your adventure/mission.
The best "If-A-Cop" stories are the simplest ones that answer these 3 questions:
~Where are you (all) going?
~Why are you going there?
and
~Where did you just come from?
The "If-A-Cop" story is ALWAYS discussed and shared with ALL members of the group BEFORE going anywhere and all members are also quizzed on the answers they will give should the "If-A-Cop" story actually be used because you've all been stopped by some sort of law enforcement personnel.
The best "If-A-Cop" stories are the simplest ones that answer these 3 questions:
~Where are you (all) going?
~Why are you going there?
and
~Where did you just come from?
The "If-A-Cop" story is ALWAYS discussed and shared with ALL members of the group BEFORE going anywhere and all members are also quizzed on the answers they will give should the "If-A-Cop" story actually be used because you've all been stopped by some sort of law enforcement personnel.
John, Mike and Mary are all walking to Tom's house to score some weed at 11 o'clock at night. Before they leave for Tom's:
John: Did we forget anything?
Mike: I don't think so...
Mary: Yeah we did! We need to come up with an "If-A-Cop" story!!! Ya know, in case the cops stop us...
John: Oh yeah! Good lookin' out!!!
John: Did we forget anything?
Mike: I don't think so...
Mary: Yeah we did! We need to come up with an "If-A-Cop" story!!! Ya know, in case the cops stop us...
John: Oh yeah! Good lookin' out!!!
by Kannudo September 6, 2010
Get the "If-A-Cop" Story mug.Yes don't believe her, especially if her name is Stacy. If she seems to be a little too happy after her 3 day "business trip" while blubbering away nonsense when you ask her about details that might be a red flag.
Jane, why is my girl so happy after her business trip, do girls love working hard that much? Well if the "business trip" gave
her the right kind of hard work then yes, some girls enjoy it. ;-(
So again if she says she went on a business trip don't believe her unless she feels miserable afterwards and talks about her awful business trip.
her the right kind of hard work then yes, some girls enjoy it. ;-(
So again if she says she went on a business trip don't believe her unless she feels miserable afterwards and talks about her awful business trip.
by MrSuccessful August 4, 2019
Get the if she says she went on a business trip don't believe her mug.