theoreticals

Something that you theoretically knows about from A to Z that you can even be quizzed about that (and can even teach children from parents other than yours about), but you're simply unable to practically apply it in real life, e.g. how to get more screen time from parents

I can explain the entire process of negotiating for more screen time to any kid, but when it comes to actually applying it with my parents, I'm just stuck in the realm of theoreticals!

by Emotional Cruiser October 1, 2025

theoretical virgin

Someone who has been asked or was going to have sex for their first time but one way or another didn't. Also refer to cock-blocked.

1. Me and Amy were gonna have sex for the first time, at her party but then the cops came and ruined my chance.

2. George: So did you finally get laid?

Frank: No, her parents walked in as we were about to

George: Damn that sucks.

Frank: Yeah, I'm stuck being a theoretical virgin.

by 1unluckyguy September 20, 2009

Theoretical Pussy Lover

Someone who likes the idea of pussy but has never had the chance to try it.

You know James is a Theoretical Pussy Lover. What a virgin.

by BigStratz August 13, 2022

Theoretical Vegetarian

A phrase used when you would like to have a very high standard for yourself in theory, but in reality you're just a basic bitch and can't discipline yourself to self actualize.

I'm a theoretical vegetarian.

by WhereEaglesDare March 16, 2017

theoretical

the thing your girlfriend is

1: did you hear about robert's new girlfriend?

2: you mean his theoretical girlfriend

by ferrousfermion August 27, 2025

Theoretical Thottery

When someone is very promiscuous in theory, but not in practice. They share posts frequently on social media about being freaky, sucking dick and not being able to keep track of all their sexual conquests, but do not engage in any sexual activity in real life.

"Megan's sure been sharing a lot of posts recently about raw-dogging. Did something happen that I missed?"
"Nah, it's just theoretical thottery."

by falsetokaiba August 23, 2020

theoretical bear

Not the bear everyone needs them to be

Mmmmmmm too bad he is only a theoretical bear

by Uptrash November 19, 2017