Santa Claus

Codeword for the guy we depend on to deliver the good bud.
He don't just show up on Christmas Eve; but, he is rather erratic on his timing, dammit.

KELLY (on cell): Hey, Gary just thought I'd let you know: I haven't seen SANTA CLAUS. So, I guess it's 'whenever.' I wish he'd hurry up and at least gimme a call.
My boyz are itchin'.
GARY: "Well, maybe he's stuck in traffic. It'll be Christmas soon."
KELLY: "Alright, man. I just thought I'd let you know."

by Chingo Bolamongo December 22, 2006

santa claus

1. A fake Christmas from the north pole who make toys for good boys and girls with his elves and wife.
2. A Turkish man named St. Nicholas who made little trinkets for poverty-stricken children and put the toys in the shoes they left on their doorsteps.
3. A lie parents tell their children so they don't cause trouble all year but'll never go to the 'jects.
4. The guy at the mall and the kids take a picture with some desperate fat guy who probably is a drunk who abuses his wife and hates kids.

1. "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
2.
3. Timmy, if you're good and quiet Santa Claus will get you that bike you want...and I can fuck Uncle Nick all year without you telling this time.
4. Ho!Ho!Ho...later...Fuckin' brats (chugs) this soup is cold bitch! (slaps wife).

by MayaEA April 26, 2006

santa claus

A jolly old man who lives at the north pole with his wife and thousands of elves. He flies around the world on Christmas Eve delivering presents to good little girls and boys, but only when they're fast asleep. He also delivers presents to children on their birthdays, but only if they're on his VIP list.

Santa claus gave me a super ultra laser beam gun for my sixth birthday.

by Bokuwa March 26, 2010

Santa Claus

The best man ever, as he is so generous and only take some-what crappy cookies in return. I love that man. <0> <3

I love Santa Claus. <3

by Santa Claus Lover <3 December 8, 2012

Santa Claus

An old fat man in a red suit with small little men and abnormal reindeer that stalks you every year so he knows if he can break into your house and to give you gifts on December 25.

I got gifts from Santa Claus

by Lily Mann December 15, 2020

Santa Claus

Yes, I am real. And if you don't believe in me you can catch these holiday hands you hoe hoe hoe.

I left Santa Claus fatass some celery instead of cookies and I woke up to deer shit on my bed.

by FrootyLoopy June 23, 2020

Santa Claus

A man who gets off on watching children 24/7 and making a list of Those who are nice, and those who are “naughty” he uses this list to choose his targets and break into their houses. He is often depicted as obese due to the fact that he lives exclusively off of stolen baked goods and dairy products, but in reality he must be RIPPED from all of the walls he scales and he has to be fairly lean in order to squeeze down all those chimneys. Mose people believe he gets around so fast because of a majical slay and a team of flying reign deer with LED noses, but this is very unlikely because he would be so easy to spot. It is much more plausible that the child stalking creep with so many different names is actually riding around in a white van to blend in with the snow and to have room for all of his “gifts” that he’s used to gain children’s trust worldwide! The only question remaining is, “is Santa Claus coming to your town?”

Me: I think I just heard something on the roof!
Macaulay Culkin: I’ll go deal with it.
Me: Wait! It could be Santa Claus!
Macaulay Culkin: Your right... I’ll bring extra bricks.
Me: Good idea! Now go put an end to that creep!

by iabast December 25, 2020