stroudsburg high school

The self-proclaimed "Pride of the Poconos," Stroudsburg High School is famous for many things, including its lunchroom staff, who currently collectively hold the world record for fitting the largest sticks possible up their asses, its splendid security staff, whose captain won this year's Greased Pig Contest (although he soon realized it wasn't a pig, it was actually one of the other security officers), its highly nutritional and incredibly delicious lunches, consisting mostly of greasy, overcooked pizzas and calzones, and half-heartedly assembled hoagies (although, by the way the ham tastes, it would appear that they used the pig from that contest listed above to make them), its nursing staff's incredible ability to cure any illness or injury with ice (not their fault, they're not allowed to give out anything else), and most importantly of all, its incredible climate control, enabling the history hallway to be a sauna, while the science wing can be magically transformed into wetlands overnight. Oh, and did I forget to mention the new classrooms? Yes, they brought them in on the back of a few flat-bed trucks, and now they sit in the parking lots, taking up valuable parking space that the school board is always griping about not having. ...They're also the only rooms in the school that have air conditioning. Doesn't this all make you wish you went here?

We love Stroudsburg High School...

Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "I show you a pass every day. Can't you trust that I have one?"
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "You saw it yesterday, it was filled out for the entire week."
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass."
Innocent Student: "I have showed you a pass every single day since the beginning of the school year. It is now March. Don't you trust I have it?"
Lunch Monitor: "Show me your pass, or sit back down and shut up."

Security Officer: "Yep. I've been workin' this here job for goin' on fifteen years. I've seen it all."

Student: *Takes bite of hamburger* *CLINK!*

Student: "Oh, God, I'm vomiting blood! I can't control it, it - it's everywhere! Oh my God, do something - is that a lung?! Is that a lung?!?!?! THAT'S A LUNG!!! HELP ME!!!"
Nurse: "Well, I really wish I could do more, but would you like some ice?"
Student: "For the love of God, call an ambulance!!! Please, just -" *glurgglurgleglurg...*
Nurse: "You know, I better make this a double pack."

Student: *Opens locker in science hallway, finds strange tropical fungus growing on english book* "What the..."

Principal: "What's going on in the history wing? I haven't heard anything from them up there in weeks."
Teacher: *Goes to investigate* "What on earth?... Oh, dear God, they've all fried to death, how could this have - oh, no, the sun's coming out!!! Run, children, run, before it's too latearghgaslfjakslf..."

Principal: "Where are Modulars 1 and 2?!"
Teacher: "Um... They're... Kind of... in the creek."
Principal: "...WHAT?!"
Teacher: "Well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get separate classrooms that people can tow away as a senior prank..."

by Concerned Member of the Class of 'O8 July 22, 2006

Stoughton

A highly Norwegian town with small population, but a big attitude. Very strong with athletics, esp wrestling and hockey. People are usually high, or about to be. Everyone is attractive and likes to eat at el rio grande or culvers. There are also a lot of albanians with nice cars. We all get drunk on the 17th of May, or Syttende Mai. We spelt the town name wrong on the new watertower, but that doesn't make us any less-likely to kick your ass! Always remember, you can't take the TOUGH out of sTOUGHton!

Visitor 1: Where are we? It smells like marijuana!

Local: You're in stoughton, bitch!

by hilow53589 June 2, 2011

Imperial stout

A form of beer, specifically a stout, brewed incredibly strong so as to survive long sea journeys.

It is 10% alcohol, jet black, consistency of cough syrup, and tastes almost exactly like chewing tobacco. Served at room temperature. Beer as man was meant to drink.

By the time you get one glass down you're half-buzzed, your tastebuds are dead and you're not hungry for dinner anymore.

In short, it is the only true Man Beer in the world and will put some hair on your ass.

Real men drink Imperial Stout.

by Carlysle T. Rocquefort May 18, 2010

Stout Middle School

Stout Middle School is a public school located in Dearborn, MI. It has 844 students in grades 6-8 with a student-teacher ratio of 17 to 1. According to state test scores, 33% of students are at least proficient in math and 41% in reading.

Child:Hey mom I wanna go to that school

Mom: u mean stout middle school
Child: yeap it's where I will find a gf

by Mohamed Fadak 🐐💦 June 2, 2019

Stout Complaint

Lucas John "Luke" Helder (born May 5, 1981) also known as the Midwest Pipe Bomber, is an American domestic terrorist and former University of Wisconsin–Stout student from Pine Island, Minnesota. In 2002, while attending the University of Wisconsin–Stout, Helder planned to plant pipe bombs in mailboxes across the United States to create a smiley face shape on the United States map.
Less than a year after a University of Wisconsin-Stout student was charged with planting pipe bombs in mailboxes, a second UW-Stout student faces criminal charges related to the devices. The 19-year-old student was charged Monday with possessing explosives after being found with 11 pipe bombs in his dorm room.

"If I had a nickel for every time a Stout engineering student made Stout Complaints, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice"
"Don't get so heated you send a Stout Complaint"
"Some diabolical separatist organizations sent Stout Complaints to their opponents"
"There are tutorials on building Stout Complaints which I wholeheartedly disavow."

by fortnitegameing April 13, 2023

mr. curtis stout

a lonely man with a bad sense of style gets no bitches and beats his meat to pictures of fruit his wife is cheating on him and he is unaware that he has no life

dont be such a mr. curtis stout

by da savage god 2 October 18, 2017

stougie

A non-smoked cigarette.

roadkill: do you have a stougie?
jonny: no, i just smoked my last one. but look in the ashtray over there for a squibby.
roadkill: ight nigga thanx.

by akaroadkill April 5, 2010