crap napkin

Basically...a crap napkin would be a napkin that you use to wipe the crap from your sphincter, which of course you would only do if you ran out of toilet paper. Therefore, a person (being a crap napkin) would be a tool, and not even a very good tool at that. A tool that you would only use if all other tools were used up. Like a wrench made out of twigs and rabbit shit.

Bob (to Herman the tool) - Shut up you little crap napkin...

Henry (to Herman the tool) - Yeah, why don't you go tickle your butthole somewhere else you giggling whore.

Herman the tool - (No comeback because he's just a shitty old crap napkin)

by David Breeden May 30, 2006

Upfront Napkin

The act of taking notes on a a napkin at a business meeting, power lunch, a cafe and/or at school. the act is useful if you need to save an idea for later and don't have paper to write on. (idea first heard on adult swim)

Upfront napkin came in handy for taking notes in algebra II, i got an A on that last test!

by Dragoon464 November 21, 2011

Fuck the napkin

Despite the the very specific directions you have been given, and despite the fact that the very extensive project is nearly completed, the client decides that it is flawed irreparably and you must pretty much start over. Oh, and it's not their fault that they gave you improper guidance from the get-go. You obviously are an untalented hack and incapable of reading minds. What kind of "creative" person can't read minds? Hack ...

The term comes from the "This is Spinal Tap" scene in which Angelica Huston presents an 18" Stonehenge monument to Ian because he wrote the directions on a cocktail napkin and wrote " for "inches" instead of ' for "feet".

Agency CD:

"Why did you make that tag verbal and not sung?"

Composer:

"You told us to do that in our meeting and you wrote it on this napkin that I'm holding right here. This one in my hand, the one that has your handwriting on it that says "make the tag verbal"

Agency CD:

"Fuck the napkin"

by Chuck Lindo June 8, 2009

muppet necking

Simultaneously giving a Handjob and a Blowjob, as if you were orally fucking a puppet.

Guy 1: "Hey I saw you hooked up with Katie last night, anything happen?"
Guy 2: "Yea, she was Muppet Necking me all night!"
Guy 1: "Aww what? Damn, you got lucky!"

by Cantalopian April 7, 2015

wet napkin

A person who has no personality.

Bob: It is so hard to carry on a conversation with Clare.
Jade: I know. She's such a wet napkin.

by melissuhann January 1, 2015

turtle necking

When you are nowhere near a toilet and that turd stuck in your hole is peeking in and out. You gotta have control so it doesn't slip out.

Dude, I have to go so bad I'm turtle necking.

by Mr Poop April 10, 2005

Nackist

A man with excessive sexual desire.
A male nympho

He's so horny he must be a nackist.

by Rheed April 7, 2015