masturprocrastinating

For the masters of procrastination. Absolutely excessive procrastination that is just sad and unnecessary. A person will strive to procrastinate as long as they can, usually aware of the fact that there are other things to be done but also usually not giving a shite.

1. I've been masturprocrastinating all evening and spending hours watching Lady Gaga and Gwen Stefani videos... No- Of course I haven't written that paper yet!

2. Paul P Bungle is the masturprocrastinator- He is also a goo baby.

3. Let's masturprocrastinate, shall we?

by Mama Adrianna March 24, 2010

masterplayer

One person who masterbates while playing games

I walk in on my son being a masterplayer

by condomchapion December 11, 2016

Masturjaying

When a cougar masturbates to fantasies of having STFU Sex with jay.

-Phone Rings.
Girl 1: I'll call you back, I'm masturjaying.
Girl 2: You mean masturbating?
Girl 1: No, like, Jay is my master. The ruler of my domain.

or

"Oh damn I'm horny, wait till i get home, I'm going to masturjay all night"

or

"Let's have phone sex"
"Okay, you could listen to me while I masturjay"

by Cougarlicious July 1, 2008

masturgrapher

someone who takes way to many pictures of his/herself, either at an arms length or in a mirror.

BOB: "Jess posts a new profile picture of herself every five minutes"
ELLEN: "Yeah, she is the greatest MASTURGRAPHER the world has ever known."

by GoolGaul March 30, 2011

Masturbraining

Playing with your brain. Taking large amounts of fun information and just sticking it in there.

Online friend: What are you doing?

Me: Masturbraining hard. The banana as we know it today was first grown in 1836; earlier bananas were tougher and starchier (essentially plaintains)

Online friend: ...

by MsLolibear November 13, 2011

masturbrake

when a group of guys/girls stops whatever they are doing and all masturbate, then get back to what they where doing.

guy 1:boys, you wanna take a masturbrake?
guy 2:yeah, this card game is really gettin' to me.

guy 3:i could use a good rest!

by E_J_The_Wizard March 16, 2017

masturprocrastibate

When you delay taking care of work, and other important things you should be doing, by masturbating furiously, desperately, to kill the pain of your failure and shame at being so useless.

"I was supposed to finish closing like 25 insurance claims cases that I'm behind on this weekend, along with cleaning my house, and those god damn gutters, so I freaked the fuck out and had to masturprocrastibate literally all weekend until my semen smelled like bleach. When I was done herkin jerkin, I was both ashamed and...proud of myself.

by cadeuceus September 18, 2018