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Irish Story

A story, usually told by one of Irish descent, that may have a clear beginning and end but takes drastic, seemingly pointless turns throughout. The story is, in all likelihood, also completely bullshit, but not necessarily. Elements of the story may also just be exaggerated for comedic or dramatic effect, leaving the story to otherwise be truthful.

Popularized by the SleepyCabin Podcast, but likely familiar to anyone of Irish descent.
SleepyCast E9

NIALL: This is how tragic my life is: My dad used to take me out fishing, and we used to go about five times each summer for years, and we never once caught a fish between us. But, like, I was so bad at it that once, I pissed my pants, and my dad was so disappointed that we didn't catch a fish and that I pissed my pants.

ZACH: Did you piss your pants because you didn't catch a fish, or were you nervous? What'd you piss your pants for?

NIALL: I just pissed my pants.

JEFF: What is it with these stories Irishmen tell? "This one time I went to the lake and...I pissed my pants, then uh...someone threw a rock at me. The end!" I don't know what it is with these stories you guys-...you and Chris are like: "This one time I was running down the road, and there was a bug, and I stepped on it, and someone...spit in my eye. I had the worst day ever because someone spit in my eye!"

STAMPER: THAT'S SO TRUE!! THAT IS SO TRUE!!! Your stories are so all over the place!

NIALL: But...if you let me finish my story, it wouldn't be so all over the fucking place!

STAMPER: IT ALREADY IS ALL OVER THE PLACE!!

...

STAMPER: Oh, my God, dude, Niall. If you were a hitman, you would be like, "Alright, so I went up to the top of the bell tower...and I had the guy in my sight...and then I put my gun down and I ate a chocolate bar...and then I went back and..." It's like, what does the chocolate bar have to do with you killing somebody? THOSE ARE IRISH STORIES!!"' (Irish Story)
by munchiesnOOb September 15, 2021
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Motherwhoring Irish Nigger

Coined by Bill the Butcher (Daniel Day-Lewis) in the film Gangs of New York, when interrogating the man who tried to assassinate him. Possibly one of the most imaginative and lyrical insults of this century.
You motherwhoring irish nigger... You see this knife? I'm gonna teach you to speak English with this fucking knife!
by billthebutcher99 March 7, 2011
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Irishous

The quality of being both Irish and delicious.
Jamie Dornan is Irishous.
by Tweeples May 9, 2013
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Irish

one of the proudest and bravest nations on the face of the Earth,
lots of influential Americans think they have Irish roots.
the population of Ireland fell from close to 9 million to about 4 million in the famine at the end of the 19th century.
The Irish were invaded by the British and Brits had a stranglehold of the Irish for the better part of a millenium,
the British, led by their bloodthirsty leader Oliver Cromwell, terrorized Irish citizens and treated them like scum. Nevertheless the Irish remained strong and proud and in 1916 the British government pressured Michael Collins (the Nationalist leader) into signing a treaty which partly seperated them from the british
hey, did you know that the Irish Earl of Cork was the first man ever to experiment with chemistry?

the Irish are one of the best nations on the Earth

EVERYONE wishes they were Irish!!!
by uzo21 January 2, 2009
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wild irish rose

yo' man hitme up with some a that wild irish rose!
by patchoulli September 26, 2003
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Irish cock

anyone whos ever seen an irish dick knows its anything but small most irishmen are bigger the average size.
Ever seen the colin ferral sex tape?? Thats an irish cock
by McDaniel R January 17, 2008
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irish

the best people ever. why? no reasons, we just are.
my parents are both irish. my dad, AND my mom.
by anirishmotherfucker July 3, 2007
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