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The Hammond Theory

A theory of Universal existence popularized by Dr Hammond on his site, hammondtheory.com. In summary, it is essentially a logical explanation of how any conscious being can logically believe themselves to be a god.
(n.) :

My teacher, Mrs. Anderson, taught us about The Hammond Theory today.
by aaronha April 19, 2010
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Hammeroid

When West Ham beat Man United the West Ham fans became proper Hammeroids.
by VOR_REP3 March 2, 2007
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hammeroid

1. A state of extreme intoxication (i.e., "hammered" beyond all recognition).

2. To become intoxicated (e.g., "hammered")to such a degree as to cause hemorrhoids upon the passing of the resultant supercritical fluid effluent.
1. Q: What'd y'all do last night?
A: We drank so much we got hammeroids!

2. Q: Why are you walking funny?
A: I got so damn hammered last night that I got hammeroids this morning.
by Judge Folsom December 9, 2010
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Hammond

As used in the act of Pulling a Hammond.

To hit on an attractive waitress/bartender/stripper and ask for her number. Only to be rejected.

Most commonly referenced when the act is frequently repeated.
Joe pulled a Hammond last night with that hot waitress.
by wingsfan2010 February 1, 2010
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Hammondism

The act of pulling the first girl you see in a nightclub, preferably in Yorkshire. Also termed "going ugly early."

A term coined from the philosophy of Top Gear/Grand Tour presenter, Richard Hammond.
"The first girl who's breathing in-and-out , you walk up to her 'hiya love how you doing?' You pull. That's it, job done."

"A scholar of Hammondism, I see."
by Esoteric Hammondist February 7, 2022
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A Hammond

a poor play on words or a gay joke that is also poorly executed. often and only made by Hammond Lieu. He himself is possibly gay.
"Hey man are you going to game tonight."
"Only if you're there and I can suck some dick"
"what a Hammond..."

"DUDE you are so shit at this game!"
"ill smell.. YOUR shit"
"..wh-what...?"
by Afrodesiak October 12, 2017
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The Hammond School

The Hammond School is actually a mental asylum for kids who don’t know they’re mentally unstable
They say it’s where performance matters, but the egg cakes matter much more.

The food on the weekends is iconic because it’s not actually edible and double ballet kills is the death of us all

RIP to all of those dead Hammond Students who’s bodies are stored behind Giselle in Clovelly, at least now you know why it smells so bad.
The Hammond School student- I’m mentally insane 🙃
by Wrong answers only February 13, 2020
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