deuce ex machina

For all those times you were stuck on the john hoping against hell for that number 2 to just slide out nice and easy and end your misery, this would be the expression used.

Inspired by deus ex machina or basically the idea of a god coming down from the sky to end the story.

"Where is a deuce ex machina when you need one? My meeting starts in five minutes!"

"OMG. It must have been by the sweet atoning grace of a deuce ex machina that I passed that shit."

Ex-Lax is the pill form of the deuce ex machina.

by shizzinator March 31, 2010

Funken Dracebooking

The ability to update one's Facebook status whilst inebriated. Status updates usually display primal passions of the person that are naturally inhibited when not having consumed excessive amounts of alcohol. Status update usually contains a high degree of incoherence, possible vulgarity, typos, grammatically incorrect elements or overtly emotional or embarrassing elements that the facebook user could not withhold sharing. Hence, "funken dracebook" is used as an apology to say that one was not in their right mind during the last status update.

"I'm sorry, I totally was Funken Dracebooking that last status update"

by VikingMan13 February 4, 2010

Rockin' A Deuce

Taking a giant shit

It's a long trip. I had better rock a deuce before we leave.

by SBD March 27, 2005

deucefest

When a bunch of high-school seniors are on their senior trip and some guy gets paid fifty bucks to get crapped on in the face. Usually followed by the people watching having to serve a detention the day after they graduate, where they then get their diploma. deuce

This is the most disgusting, inhumane act of God I have ever witnessed, I wouldn't do this to a dog. - our superintendant after he found out

by Adam December 5, 2004

deuce cobra

A shit so long and solid, the head of the turd sticks out of the toliet bowl water; resembling that of a deadly cobra. The deuce cobra is considered extremely dangerous and should not be provoked, if your roomate or wife leaves a deuce cobra for you to discover, you need to remain calm; the cobra is more scared of you than you are of it. However, it may jump out and spray your face with doody. If your wife left it, than she is a high fiber diet whore.

Nigel thought it would be hilarious to leave Ty a deuce cobra after he ate a bunch of raisin bran drunk...until he came home and found his roomate dead in the bathroom and a shit streak from the corpse to the fire escape where the deuce cobra made its exit.

by mbc33 October 6, 2010

Deuceronomy

Having a bowel movement of biblical proportions.

Oh my goodness gracious, God has blessed me. I just dropped a dirty deuceronomy that could choke a camel, so...

by Scottzers!!! May 13, 2013

Deuceotomy

When you need to take a larger than normal bowel movement. I need to get the duece(#2) out of me.

Boss: Tony why you are late coming back from lunch!?!
Tony: Sorry boss, I had an appointment.
Boss: Oh, is everything alright?
Tony: Yea, turns out I just needed to get a Deuceotomy.
Boss: That sound serious...
Tony: Yea, it was pretty shitty.

by A2theEyE January 27, 2018