Skip to main content

Diagnosticism

A new religion that IT technicians can call their own.
Hey man, wanna join the religion I just created for technicians, geeks and nerds? It's called diagnosticism.
by DelphinusMinor May 17, 2010
mugGet the Diagnosticism mug.

Fake Diagnosis

A fake diagnosis is a diagnosis given to a group of normal people who display unwanted behaviors. To gain public acceptance, the diagnosis is approved by the official psychiatric associations and supported by government and the medical establishment. Children in public schools are the most common victms.
Jimmy got removed from the class for objecting to being forced to sit in a room listening to pointless information. The authorities say he has autism and adhd. But we know that’s just a fake diagnosis.
by WHO watches Docs October 22, 2018
mugGet the Fake Diagnosis mug.

Self-Diagnose

When a 14-year-old on tik -ok finds a trend about faking real mental disorders. This is their excuse for not seeing a doctor.
Jane Doe: I'm self-diagnosed with (mental disorder here)
John Doe: Get out of here you Oxegen wasting sewer rat
mugGet the Self-Diagnose mug.

I diagnose you with dead

some faggot: "ha what a nerd"
you: "I diagnose you with dead"
some faggot: " NANI "

you: "simpleton"
*faggot dies*
by memebiggay May 7, 2018
mugGet the I diagnose you with dead mug.

Zebra Diagnosis

When someone hears obvious telltale signs of one things, and assumes it's something similar but off the wall. Origins from the show Scrubs
Guy 1: I had a Zebra Diagnosis the other day.
Guy 2: What happened?
Guy 1:I heard galloping and whinnying so I assumed it was a zebra.

Guy 1: Man, I don't feel so good.
Guy 2: What's wrong?
Guy 1: My nose is running and I'm tired, I bet I have swine flu!
Guy 2: Dude, whatever. That's a zebra diagnosis, you have a cold.
by Z0604 May 12, 2009
mugGet the Zebra Diagnosis mug.

Dr. James' Diagnosis

A "Dr. James' Diagnosis" is when someone - usually someone you know - tells you that they were diagnosed with either a crippling or lethal disease. They could state that they need to take illegal drugs in order to survive, or say they may dodge death if they are lucky. Sometimes both is stated. However, they are lying and unusually give no evidence why.
Of course, the "Dr. James' Diagnosis" is used to the benefit of the teller of a Dr. James' Diagnosis. Either for attention, or reason for doing illegal drugs without friends taking that into consideration.
The following is a conversation where James makes a Dr. James' Diagnosis:

James: "Sorry to say but I have lung cancer."
Richard: "Serious?"
James: "Yes, I'll need to smoke pot to survive."
mugGet the Dr. James' Diagnosis mug.

Google Diagnostic

Used by "Do It Yourselfer" to find out what's wrong with something. Person that uses Google search engine to check forums and topic specific web sites to find what part they should throw at the problem. Can be used for a check engine light on a car to a washing machine or a PC with the blue screen of death.
My engine light was on so I did a Google diagnostic and all the people on the forums say it needs a putooter valve. I replaced it and my lights still on,wtf
by kirbside October 17, 2015
mugGet the Google Diagnostic mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email