Tomas
Tomas is your average gonzoogler, however, when night falls, Tomas turns into pac-man and seeks out big men named Tyrone Jaquavious III and guzzles all of their juices. In his free time, he likes squirting ketchup on kindergartners, spreading mayonnaise over himself and then rolling in the sand, and shoving whole pickles into the dickhole. He comes from a long line of holy Christians. Tomas is not invited to the cookout.
Attractive Kindergartner: I have not seen Tomas all day.
Tomas: {squirts ketchup}
Other Kindergartners: {Run}
Tomas: {squirts ketchup}
Other Kindergartners: {Run}