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Escape From Tarkov

Escape From Tarkov is a garbage unrealistic fps game that will leave you shitting bricks because of the excessive occurrence of big men loaded with a shit ton of armor and guns such as a slick, exfil, or altyn.
Van Halen: Hey want to play Escape From Tarkov?
Jimi Hendrix: Nah, I don't feel like getting my legs demolished by a ks23m!
by Ur mother's touch November 28, 2021
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tarkov-team-killed

Ah ffs! Skizzles just tarkov-team-killed me again on Customs
by amitchell21 April 23, 2021
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Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus

Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus: Noticeable Swelling of the Male Testicular Region. Results from over exposure from a Popular fps MMO Shooter Escape from Tarkov. May produce long lasting reproproductive harm, and thus the inability to reproduce.

Symptom's of Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus include: Trouble taking deep breaths, increased need to write code or hacks that allows yourself or others to cheat to win inside Escape from Tarkov, purchase 3rd party cheats or hacks from others who lack the ability to reproduce and most likely live in the basement of parents home. Using Real Currency to purchase otherwise free ingame lootables, example: roubles, guns, armor, keys, etc. An overwhelming sense of insecurity of ones Pee pee, inability to complete sentences, make direct eye contact with the opposite sex

This definition has not been approved by the FDA and has no clear and or concise way of preventing its outcome except as to not play Escape from Tarkov because you are just bad at it.
subject 1: Have you noticed anything wrong with subject 3 recently?
subject 2: Yes it appears subject 3 has a very noticeable growth to his Groinal region.

subject 1: Pretty sure he has contracted Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus
subject 2: Should we possibly speak to his wife?
subject 1: Nope, if she hasn't noticed by now what's the point.
by Upin Urmum September 14, 2021
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Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus

Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus: Noticeable Swelling of the Male Testicular Region. Results from over exposure from a Popular fps MMO Shooter Escape from Tarkov. May produce long lasting reproproductive harm, and thus the inability to reproduce.

Symptom's of Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus include: Trouble taking deep breaths, increased need to write code or hacks that allows yourself or others to cheat to win inside Escape from Tarkov, purchase 3rd party cheats or hacks from others who lack the ability to reproduce and most likely live in the basement of parents home. Using Real Currency to purchase otherwise free ingame lootables, example: roubles, guns, armor, keys, etc. An overwhelming sense of insecurity of ones Pee pee, inability to complete sentences, make direct eye contact with the opposite sex

This definition has not been approved by the FDA and has no clear and or concise way of preventing its outcome except as to not play Escape from Tarkov because you are just bad at it.
subject 1: Have you noticed anything wrong with subject 3 recently?
subject 2: Yes it appears subject 3 has a very noticeable growth to his Groinal region.

subject 1: Pretty sure he has contracted Tarkovian-vascular-testinitus
subject 2: Should we possibly speak to his wife?
subject 1: Nope, if she hasn't noticed by now what's the point.
by Upin Urmum September 14, 2021
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Tarkoved

To die swiftly and unexpectedly, typically in a game, by something you would have zero chance of seeing coming.

The phrase was named after and coined in the gameEscape from Tarkov”, which is really well renown for it’s incredibly frustrating and unforgiving difficulty.
I can’t make it through a single raid without getting Tarkoved. Head-Eyes everywhere!
by TicAss December 20, 2021
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Tjerko

That one guy that reveres the dead queen of england for some reason
This guy keeps talking about dead Lizzie man! Is it Tjerko? Yeah man.
by TomeCS September 13, 2022
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Tarkovesque

The vibe or feeling you get when you are in peak de-realized or de-personalized . Usually occurs when you are very high but you have not taken any drugs or sedatives .
1 . Arun was very Tarkovesque after staring at the night sky for so long .
2. The jett-lag was very Tarkovesque .
by Namae nai kaibutsu March 4, 2023
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