spandex goggles

Cousin to beer goggles. The metaphorical goggles worn when observing another person wearing form-fitting attire of spandex. The resulting disruption of vision makes a person's physique appear more noteworthy than the reality is likely to be.

man 1 Did you see that yoga girl back there? She was so attractive!
man 2 I'm not so sure, I think you may have had your spandex goggles on.

by Group Dynamics May 14, 2015

spandex storm

A group of riders either riding mountain bikes or road bikes wearing spandex. The spandex can be in matching colors to the rest of their kit.

Rode through a spandex storm on the singletrack this afternoon.

by 2ahoy July 15, 2017

spandex-tard

Cyclists who wear spandex and use traffic lanes instead of the readily available and perfectly paved bike trails in every major city.

Bob: hey man, pass this douche

Lenny: I don't want to pass this cyclist because he's hogging the lane. Therefore, I will slow to a crawl, and the the traffic behind us will blame the spandex-tard. Lulz.

by Jacob K Reist January 11, 2009

Spandex Worm

The Disease of Richard Simmons

he has one serious case of spandex worm

by john roggers September 13, 2004

Spandex Hunting

When you go to a public place to check out women wearing tight clothing, especially the now ubiquitous spandex yoga pants.

Hey Mark, want to go to the outlets and go spandex hunting?

by Spandex-Hunter October 25, 2020

spandex warrior

Men and women who don spandex uniforms and ride their bicycles along highways and other roadways with no bike lanes causing near accidents putting lives at risk so they can act like they are riding in tour de France

That p.o.s spandex warrior almost kill everyone in my car by having to drive into oncoming traffic to avoid hitting him.

by Spandex_Warrior_killer November 21, 2018

spandex monkey

Term I like to use to mock rowers and rowing. A spandex monkey = a rower, because he or she is most likely a monkey-like creature who wears spandex to race.

Me: Hey, spandex monkeys, how did the stick-pulling competition go!
Spandex Monkey: Great... Now I have a shiny object to play with

by CrazyLock June 24, 2004