Used as the cleaner version of. Sh*t! F*ck! ETC. Generally while something you did not want to occur, ended up happening.
Occasionally the equivalent to FML.
Occasionally the equivalent to FML.
by Scoob The Greek October 4, 2010
Get the Poop in a Handbag mug.There is a very slim possibility the task you would like to perform, will be completed satisfactory.
"Breeding Mongolian Traffic wardens with a hybrid Bagder to create a kung fu red blooded super race?!" -
"You got more chance of shitting in the queens handbag!"
"You got more chance of shitting in the queens handbag!"
by Professional Biscuit Thief December 10, 2009
Get the More chance of shitting in the queens handbag mug.Related Words
A Bavarian Handbasket, or 'hand basket', is a sex position for those "advanced nympho" ladies who would like to spice things up a tiny bit in the bedroom and perhaps get a somewhat different reaction from their partner/s than the normal, everyday whips and chains, S&M, and gorilla toss.
Here are the directions for for the nympholadies who are getting bored with finger-in-the-asshole-bj' s, etc... They are very specific so be sure to write this one down on the back of your hand so you can read it and remember while doing it doggy style.
Steps-
1. Firmly grasp your partner's* genitalia, or balls, all the way at the top of where they hang down.
* If having sex with more than one man at the time, then repeat these steps as necessary.
2. When you have a firm grasp on them, rip out as many pubes on them as possible or to your liking, with your other free hand.
3. Take the pubes and lay them across your chest*.
*Really, anywhere on your body is fine. Putting them on your chest, however, is what makes this move Bavarian.
4. After removing all the sack pubes to your liking, twist the ball sack 360 Degrees. If this does not get a reaction from your partner right away, keep twisting as necessary.
5. After twisting the sack to your liking, pull it extremely hard and quick, forcing your partner to get on his knees.
6. When this is completed, separate and take your legs and put them on his shoulders*. Be sure that your feet are locked behind his head so he cannot escape.
*If screwing a midget, this step may be difficult.
7. Now take the ball sack and thrust it into your vagina as much as possible. Release your grip and jack off your partner until he cums*, while the ball sack is still twisted inside your vagina
*If there is blood, then you have done the whole process correctly.
8. You have successfully completed the Bavarian Handbasket. Congratulations! You may now smear your partner's pubes in his face.
Here are the directions for for the nympholadies who are getting bored with finger-in-the-asshole-bj' s, etc... They are very specific so be sure to write this one down on the back of your hand so you can read it and remember while doing it doggy style.
Steps-
1. Firmly grasp your partner's* genitalia, or balls, all the way at the top of where they hang down.
* If having sex with more than one man at the time, then repeat these steps as necessary.
2. When you have a firm grasp on them, rip out as many pubes on them as possible or to your liking, with your other free hand.
3. Take the pubes and lay them across your chest*.
*Really, anywhere on your body is fine. Putting them on your chest, however, is what makes this move Bavarian.
4. After removing all the sack pubes to your liking, twist the ball sack 360 Degrees. If this does not get a reaction from your partner right away, keep twisting as necessary.
5. After twisting the sack to your liking, pull it extremely hard and quick, forcing your partner to get on his knees.
6. When this is completed, separate and take your legs and put them on his shoulders*. Be sure that your feet are locked behind his head so he cannot escape.
*If screwing a midget, this step may be difficult.
7. Now take the ball sack and thrust it into your vagina as much as possible. Release your grip and jack off your partner until he cums*, while the ball sack is still twisted inside your vagina
*If there is blood, then you have done the whole process correctly.
8. You have successfully completed the Bavarian Handbasket. Congratulations! You may now smear your partner's pubes in his face.
"Dude, Carla did this thing to me the other night. She said it was called the Bavarian Handbasket or some shit... said she got it off urbandictionary or some shit."
"Well, how was it dude?!?"
"Dude...it was the best thing ever! She forcefully took my balls, ripped out their pubes, twisted my junk, and shoved it into her pussy, then jacked me off while it was still in there."
"Why doesn't Claire ever do that to me?..."
"Well, how was it dude?!?"
"Dude...it was the best thing ever! She forcefully took my balls, ripped out their pubes, twisted my junk, and shoved it into her pussy, then jacked me off while it was still in there."
"Why doesn't Claire ever do that to me?..."
by musclemilk23 March 27, 2008
Get the bavarian handbasket mug.A gay man who is used by straight women to virtue signal they are woke.
Not to be confused with fag hag.
Almost the counterpart to beard.
Not to be confused with fag hag.
Almost the counterpart to beard.
by Dandy fresh October 18, 2022
Get the Handbag twink mug.After having a one night stand with a woman, the man sneaks out before she wakes up, but before he leaves he shits in her handbag.
by Protect Detroit November 14, 2014
Get the Louisiana Handbag mug.by Gumba Gumba December 22, 2006
Get the hell in a handbasket mug.Not unlike the current alternative definition for the word 'beard', 'The Kate Spade Handbag' is a metaphor for the use of a person (in this case a man) for the masking of homosexuality. The lesbian in question can sometimes be found engaging in penetrative coitus with their handbag, and will most likely pretend to be in a committed relationship to conceal the fact that she is a raging carpet muncher. Other frequent signs are usually the lack of desire to fellate the handbag's penis and/or the history of previous lesbianism.
David mate you're her Kate Spade handbag, I'm 100% sure your birds a dyke.
Guys Diana won't suck me off... do you think i'm her Kate Spade Handbag?
Hey priscille! Maybe I can just pretenddd not like licking your minge? You know....get a Kate Spade handbag OK let's scissor!
Guys Diana won't suck me off... do you think i'm her Kate Spade Handbag?
Hey priscille! Maybe I can just pretenddd not like licking your minge? You know....get a Kate Spade handbag OK let's scissor!
by phallicconnoisseur June 27, 2019
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