Maritime Goggles

A condition that occurs when a cadet is at New York Maritime College for too long, resualting in an illision that makes females more attractive than they really are. Similar to beer goggles, the two should never be combined in an unsafe area. The effects of the combination of the two are catastrophic, often resaulting in massive quantities of shame and ridicule by peers. There is, in fact, an equation that describes the potency of Maritime Goggles, h+(.15w)=mgh, with h being equal to the initial hotness of the chick, w being equal to the number of consecutive weeks a cadet is stuck on campus )whithout being off campus for a span of >1week), and mgh being equal to the maritime goggle hotness, or the final hotness of the chick.

Maritime Cadet: "Wow, look at that hottie in the mini-skirt!"
Normal Dude: "Uh, bro, she's no better than a 6."
Maritime Cadet: "Damn maritime goggles again, ive been stuck there too long."

if a girl is a 6 to one uneffected by maritime goggles, and is seen afer a cadet has been stuck on campus for 7 weeks, then she is now a 7.05 under maritime goggles, because 6+(.15*7)=7.05. The mgh potancy factor would be 1.05

by MSA6219 October 2, 2009

FUMA goggles

The barrier that the students of all-male school, Fork Union Military Academy, face when returning for leave. This unfortunate condition makes the obviously unattractive women look like supermodels.

Rob: OMFG! Look at that hottie!
Cynthia: Ew, she's like 90 years old!
Jeff: Dude, take off your FUMA goggles.

by prittyxschmidty April 28, 2008

everclear goggles

A form of distorted judgement far greater than beer goggles.
If beer goggles cause you to have sex with a less-than-attractive person, EVERCLEAR goggles would cause you to have sex with a dead animal.

Bob humped that frozen turkey for like three hours. He's wearing the everclear goggles again!

by 20th century dude November 26, 2007

Baby Goggles

A phenomenon where the parents of an ugly baby think their baby is adorable and no one else does.

Nancy: Here's our little bundle of joy! Isn't she just the cutest thing ever?!?
Lisa & Kate (after one look at Nancy's ugly baby): Ohhhh...! Yessss....
Lisa to Kate: I think Nancy has baby goggles - that's got to be the ugliest baby I've ever seen!

by Wine Chick December 16, 2008

butt goggles

When a woman and man perform 69 on each other. Preferably the man is on bottom and can't see anything due to the fact of the woman's ass being in his face.

Man 1: Yeah, so me and Debbie got it on last night
Man 2: Sweet dude, you didn't put on the butt goggles did you?
Man 1: Yeah.. for a little while, i couldn't see shit

by AnonymousAssDude February 19, 2009

Dorm Goggles

The unfortunate and crippling phenomenon wherein one is interested only in the small number of potential mates who reside in his or her dorm. This is especially prevalent among freshman males.

Jay and Melissa started dating, but everyone knows he is only attracted to her because of a bad case of dorm goggles.

by worst_wingman_ever February 4, 2013

Ray Goggles

An expression used when someone falls over nothing or walks in to something which was obviously there causing people to think "How did he even walk in to that?!"
The name coming from the famous, black, blind piano player Ray Charles.

Brad: Be right back, i'm just going to grab an ice cream from the freezer
*Runs in to wall*
Steve: hahaha, what are you doing?! you must be wearing your Ray Goggles today.
Brad: ... *Is unconcious*

by maxmoefoe May 30, 2010