futon john

A douche that likes to remind every person he meets that he was conceived on a futon.

Kid 1: "Have you met Futon John?"

Kid 2: "No, but I heard he was a douche."

Kid 3: "I heard he was conceived on a futon."

Kid 1: "I wish I was conceived on a futon."

by Dubya14 November 25, 2013

futon

fu-ton. v. to take an attractive member of the opposite sex to one's futon for sexual purposes.

I think I'm finally going to futon this guy I've been seeing, tonight!

by Caro July 19, 2004

Boku no futon

Cutest phrase said by Armin Arlert in Attack on Titan: Junior High when his futon was stolen by Levi

Levi: *appears out of nowhere in Armin's room window*

Armin: Wh-wh-wh-what on earth is going on?! (With cute baby voice)
Levi: Tsk. Give me that!
Armin: BOKU NO FUTON! 😭 (in tiny)

by Dion_ January 26, 2021

futon asshole

A video game player who deliberately breaks a futon alliance. He or she typically acts only in his or her best interest while playing the game. This includes destroying other player’s characters, stealing their Mario Party stars or other snarky behavior.

Lauren, you just stole my last star! You are a futon asshole!

by uglysinglesclub April 12, 2007

futon alliance

A close association of video game players, assembled on a futon (or other seating device), formed to advance common interests by playing as team. Members of a futon alliance are loyal and trusting of each other; they will not act against other members of the alliance. Failure to act in accordance with terms of the futon alliance will result in a player being rejected from the coalition and henceforth being known as a futon asshole.

Rebecca, you better find Molly and destroy her player or else we will lose and you will no longer be a part of this futon alliance!

by uglysinglesclub December 25, 2008

The Futon Effect

A Futon attempts to be both bed and couch, but makes a terrible bed and a terrible couch. The Futon Effect is a force which dooms many similar attempts to a similar fate.

Spork. A spork is that funny eating thing that is half-spoon and half-fork. Intended for camping, this unnecessary invention makes very bothersome the eating of either liquid or solid food, and thus can be said to suffer from The Futon Effect.

by JAKiii March 8, 2010

Futon Fun

To have sexual intercourse on a futon.

Guy 1: Hey what happened to Timmy last night?
Guy 2: Timmy had 25 shots of vodka and ended up having futon fun with Torrie.
Guy 1: No Way! Way to go Timmy Tivo!

by Willy Wonkah February 17, 2010