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faster than a cat can lick its ass

Ever see a cat lick its ass? Then you know it's pretty damn fast.
When I heard my old man coming home right when I was in the middle of some afternoon delight with my next door neighbor, he gathered up his clothes, rock-hard dick and all, and jumped out the window faster than a cat can lick its ass.
by Goobershanker August 9, 2006
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Fiaster

A Fiasco and a disaster. See also "Gigli".
"Went to Joe's party last night. It was terrible...a downright Fiaster!"
by Damien Noble July 20, 2006
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fasterbate

The act of masterbating very quickly as to get it over with to avoid detection
i had to fasterbate because my mom was in the next room
by saylor February 15, 2007
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festered upon

1. When someone chucks completely random shit at you, such as garbage
(derived from the word fester: garbage is festering, thus, to be festered upon is to have festering crap thrown at you).

2. When someone uses entirely bitchy/bullshit behavior towards you.
1. Me and A-ron were festered upon when his grandma tossed the kitchen trash at us.

2. I was having a quiet smokeout when some crazy bitch festered upon me and my homedogs by lecturing us.
by J-Fizz August 27, 2005
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festered

If you're 'festered', you're stoned to the bone, maybe you're drunk as a skunk, or perhaps both. Either way, you're an inebriated son of a bitch with the munchies and a 'let's fuckin party' kinda attitude. Popularly used in Santa Cruz, California.
Dylan was so festered last night, he chased his tequila with a bite of mac n cheese.
by GlazedEyeGal February 6, 2019
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Faster than the speed of nut

When events are taking place at an incredibly fast pace, similar to when a man is having sex and ejaculates much ealier than expected.
"How are they moving in together already? Their relationship is moving faster than the speed of nut!"
by Monkey Jane January 12, 2017
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Honey, I never drive faster than I can see

Telling your girlfriend you'll never cheat on her.
"Oh, sure; your roommate is adorable... but. Honey, I never drive faster than I can see."
by JormanThoad September 1, 2017
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