Skip to main content
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead- murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time - something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man.
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead- murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time - something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man.
by biggestbafoonbingus69 June 4, 2023
mugGet the My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead- murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. mug.

Congressional Medal of Circular Tastiness

A round cookie given to someone for accomplishing some task.
Congratulations on winning the ping-pong tournament. You are hereby awarded the Congressional Medal of Circular Tastiness.
by Tom from March 27, 2007
mugGet the Congressional Medal of Circular Tastiness mug.

Stick shift Confession

The act of admitting to lewd acts performed within the confines of a vehicle.
Kim and John had sexual intercourse in Johns' car, this is their stick shift confession.
by TUNEMOD3 April 16, 2014
mugGet the Stick shift Confession mug.

Going Congressional

To exhibit symptoms of complete mental breakdown at work and get away with it. (A tribute to to Congressman John Shadegg (R-AZ)) See: 'going postal' without the violence.
"Man, I was arguing with John Shaddegg about healthcare reform and he just started raving about gulags... the guy was totally going congressional"
by Redneck Liberal October 15, 2009
mugGet the Going Congressional mug.

Coital Confessions

During the foreplay portion of a sexual encounter, the point in time in which one or both of the partners exchange various faults and insecurities that they believe would make them less appealing as a sexual partner. Typically done while dry-humping, before the clothes are removed. It's a classic win-win situation, as by that point, the other person doesn't really care, and you get the guilt off your chest of trying to be someone you don't exactly fit the profile of.
Jessie: Oh, you should know, I haven't shaved in a few days.

Thomas: As much as I appreciate the coital confessions, babe, I'm just too horny to care.
by iCame September 29, 2009
mugGet the Coital Confessions mug.

Conpression

The act of being conductor and oppressing people by banning/kicking them.
StixnStonezz: CONDUCTOR KEEPS FUCKING CONPRESSING ME
Iann787: STOP BANNING ME THIS IS CONPRESSION
by is_memegod March 6, 2017
mugGet the Conpression mug.

Conversion Kit

The act of changing ones sexual preferance. Typically from female on female to female on male.
Michelle was given a conversion kit by shane, which put julie out of a job and relationship...
by s._w._ March 31, 2009
mugGet the Conversion Kit mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email