One day Johnny and Jane decided to have intercourse. Jane asked Johnny if he had a condom and he said of course he didn't, condoms were for faggots and pussies, and he was neither. Well they had sex, and poor Johnny had premature ejaculation before he could pull out. 1 month later, Jane tells Johnny that she had Herpes and that he is most likely now positive for it. She is also pregnant. 8 months later, a kid comes around (luckily no Herpes because of today's medicines)and Jane decides that she cannot take care of the child. She gives the child to Johnny, in which Johnny's wife Mary, finally finds out about the wrongful deed and divorces Johnny. If only he had worn a Condom
by Andrew Shea August 24, 2004
by JELLO August 31, 2003
Interlude: This poem was created for a poetry class at San Diego State University by a very curious and enthusiastic Sophmore named Brittany.
Poem: "Safety First"
From Japan to the USA
They claim their place
In every bathroom or bed stand.
Lying within worn, cardboard boxes
Taunting all that stare
Embarassed by their intentions.
The perk function they perform;
To bring intense,
Erotic, ribbed pleasure
To those otherwise not meant to experience
Such sesual, twisted touch.
With the strength and Endurance
Of the Trojans invading Rome
They protect patrons each day.
By limiting the populations of teenage mothers,
They serve a necessary purpose for society
Often going without appreciation
Tossed aside after each use.
Representing all colors of the rainbow
All flavors of fruit
Chocolate, root beer,
Scented lilac, tropical breeze,
Nonoxynol-9 enhanced.
They make safety a carnival
Of lightly lubricated latex!
They've come to fill
A major role in many relationships
Knowing no discrimination,
They aid anyone willing to spend
A few crucial dollars.
Evolving from their original form of sheep skin,
They are the latest
In sexual exploration
Enjoyed by both old and young,
Single and married.
Small, large
Pinch the tip,
Roll them on.
Worldwide
They are the perfect fit.
Hope you enjoyed this demostration of literary creativity!!
Poem: "Safety First"
From Japan to the USA
They claim their place
In every bathroom or bed stand.
Lying within worn, cardboard boxes
Taunting all that stare
Embarassed by their intentions.
The perk function they perform;
To bring intense,
Erotic, ribbed pleasure
To those otherwise not meant to experience
Such sesual, twisted touch.
With the strength and Endurance
Of the Trojans invading Rome
They protect patrons each day.
By limiting the populations of teenage mothers,
They serve a necessary purpose for society
Often going without appreciation
Tossed aside after each use.
Representing all colors of the rainbow
All flavors of fruit
Chocolate, root beer,
Scented lilac, tropical breeze,
Nonoxynol-9 enhanced.
They make safety a carnival
Of lightly lubricated latex!
They've come to fill
A major role in many relationships
Knowing no discrimination,
They aid anyone willing to spend
A few crucial dollars.
Evolving from their original form of sheep skin,
They are the latest
In sexual exploration
Enjoyed by both old and young,
Single and married.
Small, large
Pinch the tip,
Roll them on.
Worldwide
They are the perfect fit.
Hope you enjoyed this demostration of literary creativity!!
Okay...so after such a long poem...do you really need an example too to get the point....Strap on the safety belt before you take the ride!
by Brittany January 10, 2005
As before: "Rubber, or sheepskin cover for the penis during Sexual Intercourse So that no seminal fluid may enter the vagina"
They also serve well as water-bombs.
They also serve well as water-bombs.
by gribble February 02, 2003
When a girl asks a guy to go get a condom knowing that he'll have to leave the room to get one. As the guy leaves the room to go get one, she takes off and leaves. The guy comes back to an empty room and doesn't get laid.
"I went to get a rubber last night and I got back to the party to find out I've been condomized. The chick took off while I was grabbing a condom and didnt sleep with me.
by Doshua Wingnut October 08, 2009
a raincoat for your johnson
it protects against the windburn and chapping off the penis head
also can be used to wear on your head
it protects against the windburn and chapping off the penis head
also can be used to wear on your head
by mr mcgooglestick February 27, 2005