Skip to main content

Barney-guarding job

A job that requires absolutely no skill or talent, except for a complete lack of self-respect. Usually the kind of job one seeks after being fired from distributing flyers for a porno theater.

The term is derived from an episode from The Simpsons where Mr. Smithers, desperate for a job after being fired by Mr. Burns, inquires after a Help Wanted sign at Moe's. The job is pretty simple: distract Barney Gumbel until the midnight beer delivery is safely transacted. According to Homer, it's a job that many of them have only contemplated in the darkest moments of their lives.
Bill: Yo, how'd the job hunt go?

Evan: Terrible. I had to take an internship to a fishmonger.

Bill: Man, that's a Barney-guarding job.

Evan: I know. I think I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.
by ChrisJLee March 9, 2007
mugGet the Barney-guarding job mug.

blarneystoner

Someone who talks a lot when stoned, in the manner of one who has kissed the Blarney Stone (giving them the gift of the gab)
that skunk turned me into a right blarneystoner, I talked bollocks all night!
by Captain Hotknives October 8, 2005
mugGet the blarneystoner mug.

barney stinson

Barney Stinson "suit up it going to be a legendary night"
by sexybeastmimsmimsmimsmims August 11, 2009
mugGet the barney stinson mug.

barney badass

A person who likes to try talking and acting like they're tough shit but is incapable of backing it up. Tends to be someone with a very bad temper and a loud mouth who likes make fun of people and start trouble, and as such, are not very well liked by people who know them. As soon as someone confronts them about their shit-talking they like to throw fits and resort to making threats that they cannot back up. Often times, people who fall under the definition of this term are frequent drinkers who engage in the aformentioned behaviors while under the influence of alcohol.
That Barney badass needs to get put in his place.
by gtfo7 February 27, 2010
mugGet the barney badass mug.

Blaneysexual

I was minding my own business then I saw Ryan Blaney on TV. At that moment I knew I was Blaneysexual
by yeet_27j June 16, 2020
mugGet the Blaneysexual mug.

lumpy barney

the physically impossible act of defacating without being followed or accompanied by urination, also known as the chezz rosterfield......although impossible, this act must be labeled

DISCLAIMER.....urban dictionary is not responsible for any instantanious combustion that shall occur during execution of the lumpy barney
after three days of living in the desert without water and a healthy diet of prunes, Craig produced a classic lumpy barney
by manbearpig301 March 11, 2007
mugGet the lumpy barney mug.

Barney-mugging

Barney-mugging, is a slang word from the 1920's meaning SEX
Yup, I was barney-mugging Ashley all night long baby! Whoooo!!!
by AlreadyDead June 20, 2007
mugGet the Barney-mugging mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email