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One eyed jack

A person who shows the good side of themselves, while hiding the other side of themselves as being incredibly repulsive, insincere, malicious, and untrustworthy.
You are a one eyed jack around these parts, Dan. I have seen the other side of your face.
by Lexus Nexus July 3, 2014
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jack off day

A day that youself,or your friends take off from work/school(which day off from school is more likely)and devote that day to jacking off.
Bob: "Hey did you see where chris was today?"
Peter: "You didnt hear, He is having a jack off day."
Bob: "Boy I need one of those soon."
by Jack mehoff12312 January 3, 2009
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Little Jack Hornher

Based on the children's nursery rhyme this sexual act entails taking a girl from behind doggystyle and inserting one's thumb in her anus upon climax.
As in....Little Jack Hornher... he stuck in his thumb, made the girl cum, and said, "What a good boy am I".
by Jack Inghoff January 18, 2009
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All jacked up

The meaning of all jacked up is that an object or an individual is screwed up, faulty,doesn't work, or inadequate.
The self checkout registers in Wallmart are all Jacked Up.
by JoeBeau July 24, 2016
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Jack of All Asses

A person who has the ability to piss off anyone at any time, and anywhere. Typically, these people are unpleasant to be around due to the sheer amount of ignorance they emit, or lack of caring while being an asshole. They never fail to make someone's day more unpleasant than what it would, or not, have been. Atop of this, they also seem to be capable of this in more than one way and rather effortlessly, hence the name "Jack of All Asses.".
Person 1: "Man, I can't believe how triggered people were at the funeral. All I said was "I'm pretty sure this guy owes me 5 bucks."

Person 2: "Wow, you really are a Jack of All Asses aren't you?"
by Guregori February 24, 2020
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Maasai jumping-jack

Named after the Maasai jumping dance performed by the maassai tribe. One's penis is tucked between the thighs and as the person jumps up and down a 'handless wank' is achieved. Usually carried out in frustration after hand functionality is comprimised for extended periods. Quite difficult at first but can be perfected with practice.

The first Maasai jumping-jack was performed by Charley Boorman while filming the long way round through Africa. Charlie was whining about his bitchy little limp wrists one night and Ewan denied him a dutch rudder. So, inspired by the Maasai people he'd seen that day, the Maasai jumping-jack was born.
After that motorbike crash where he broke both his wrists, Paul became a pro at the Maasai jumping-jack.

"If Liam didn't show me how to Maasai jumping-jack myself after I burned my hands, I don't think I could've coped."
by What would Charlie do? November 9, 2012
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Jack in the Box Boyfriend

One of the cruelest turn of events that could happen to any man. Where a female that one has been talking to for several months out of nowhere mentions her "boyfriend" that for some reason had never existed until that moment
Doug: Hey did you hook up with Courtney last night?
Cecil: Nawh! She brought up her Jack in the Box Boyfriend while we were watching a movie...I was shitty!
Doug: I had a bad feeling that was going to happen...damn!
by Trent McFarlane January 12, 2013
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