The facial johnson (or the Iranian facial phallus) is a humiliating and painful condition. A facial johnson is often identified as a wart. It grows on the face anywhere above the eyes and is a particularly odd-looking wart, as it is shaped like a human penis.
It can vary in size and colour, in the range of 1 cm to 3 inches and a pale white to a deep Caribbean black (an annoying yellow colour is possible but rare).
The facial johnson can be caught in 2 ways: socialising with the infected and being a knob-face.
It can vary in size and colour, in the range of 1 cm to 3 inches and a pale white to a deep Caribbean black (an annoying yellow colour is possible but rare).
The facial johnson can be caught in 2 ways: socialising with the infected and being a knob-face.
Billy: "Travis has been slug-wrestling for days!"
James: "He's such a knob"
Billy: "I know, has he got a facial johnson?"
Gunther: "Them fucking faggots are corking again!"
Abbey: "They're gonna get fucking bum-nuggets!"
Gunther: "And facial johnsons"
James: "He's such a knob"
Billy: "I know, has he got a facial johnson?"
Gunther: "Them fucking faggots are corking again!"
Abbey: "They're gonna get fucking bum-nuggets!"
Gunther: "And facial johnsons"
by flashkapOw July 14, 2009
by Dick hammer jack August 16, 2015
Much like the traditional act of a man giving a woman a faceful of cum, but characterised by a vigorous display of effort and release. In doing so, the man has an expression and makes a sound much like Jean Claude Van Damme in those slow motion close ups of his face when he performs his big finale kick on the 'bad guy'.
Especially appropriate when copulating with a lady of loose morals and an a voracious appetite for all manner of sexual endeavour (AKA "a good girl").
Especially appropriate when copulating with a lady of loose morals and an a voracious appetite for all manner of sexual endeavour (AKA "a good girl").
Look at the arse on that one over there... I'd love to give her a Van Damme Facial.
Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
by Antony December 20, 2003
when you strech a girls pussy and dips your sack in it when shes having her period then wipe it on her face
a threat
a threat
by sam and nick April 24, 2008
it's when you get skullfucked so hard that you come out looking like John Travolta or Nicholas Cage.
by PsychoNifkin May 18, 2009
A female who just loves a mans cum some much they need it all over their face at all times of the day.
That Vicky is such a facial cum slut, she begged me to pull it out and cum all over her face, she fuckin loved it!!!
by A Da Monsta October 26, 2005
Normally only done in pornography, when a man or multiple men, ejaculate on a woman's face completely covering it in semen.
Since it was her first porn, Mary let all three men give her a fucked up facial to show she is up for anything.
by Porn-Off January 06, 2011