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wanker's length

1.An arbitary unit of measurement, defined as the maximum length of toilet paper used when cleaning ones spunk from the carpet (8 sheets).

2.Used as an insult, meaning you are toilet paper covered in nob sneeze.
1. I was literally a wanker's length from getting the bus.

2. He was really tall, about one and a half wanker's lengths.

3.It is about a 200 wanker's length walk to the shops.

4.You fucking dumb wanker's length.
by Joniquai March 20, 2005
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Cry Wanker

Pathetic excuse for a man. Like the above. Befriends women but due to screwed perception, mistakes simple friendship for sexual interest to the point of stalking. This always culminates in sobbing and self love in public places.
'Oh dear, Steve disappeared the night before thanksgiving. He was very drunk and upset with his housemate.'

'yes, for some reason he ran away to that Finnish girls house.'
'Really? The one who made it clear she is not interested in him?'

'That is the one. What's more she was off banging her fuck buddy while Steve sat outside her house.'

'Dear me! So what was he doing there that long?'
'Playing with himself and sobbing, you know what a cry wanker he is!'
by svenjamie November 10, 2014
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Wankers Doo

When you call in for a friend after he has a wank, he will be sitting with a sweaty head and a greasy greasy hair"doo". Therefore he has a wankers doo
Knock Knock
whos there?
fred
aww ok come in
Jez sir uve a wile wankers doo, were u wanking
Aye i waz surely, very sweaty now
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Coffee Wanker

The act of ordering a Ridiculously long named coffee normally from a franchise coffe shop such as starbucks.

These people are called coffee wankers.
Jesus Victoria couldnt you have just ordered a large White coffee from starbucks instead of a Grande Skinny Latte with soya milk, twist of lemon and a sprinkle of Cinnamon and shot of vanilla? you dirty coffee wanker.
by Moonbizzle III September 25, 2009
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bloody wanker

joe and mark are bloody wankers, they stole my bike
by james jenki February 18, 2009
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bike wanker

A perjorative term used to describe wankers that ride bicycles. A repost to the inbetweeners' "Bus wankers!" insult, this is often used by people at bus stops toward cyclists who pass by.
"He shouted "Bike wanker", and threw a stone at me"

"If anyone called me a bike wanker I'd smash them in the face with my helmet"

"Bike wanker!"
by borisyegerov February 5, 2010
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Dirty Wanker

A term for someone who jerks off a lot, but more commonly used by middle-schoolers for humor.
"Hey Bro! Wanna go shoot some hoops?" "Shut the fuck up you Dirty Wanker!"
by TmoneyTheRealO.G January 5, 2015
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