wasted wank

When the act of maturbation is disturbed causing loss of momentum or ejaculation in your pants because some inconsiderate person has turned up uninvited
I downloaded some wicked porn last night and was knocking one out then my mum walked through the door 2 hours early as I was just about to shoot my load, what a wasted wank
by Djc2508 January 16, 2014
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Wank Lag

A South West London term used to describe the feeling of exhaustion after an intense masturbation session.
'What did you get up to last night?'
'Spent the evening on the sofa watching TV 'cos I had a severe case of Wank Lag after being on Red Tube too long!'
by Duke of Earlsfield December 29, 2009
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Wank fairy

A mysterious being who, after a guy has masturbated in bed and not bothered to wipe up after, arrives and cleans up the area.

Responsible for the disappearance of cum
"The tooth fairy takes teeth - the wank fairy takes jizz - simple as that"
by Benjalo November 16, 2009
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Cookie-Wank

You and your friends stand in a circle around a cookie. You start to jerk off and try to hit the cookie with your load. The first one who doesn't hit the cookie, or the last one to cum, has to eat it.
"Man, I still have the taste of the Cookie-Wank off yesterday in my mouth."
"Yes, I came first!"
"Oh man, I lost the Cookie-Wank again."
"Oh sorry I didn't mean to shoot you"
by TheFunnyGamer October 18, 2021
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Wank-ake

When someone wakes up with a stiffy and decides to make pancakes while at the same time wanking and as a result some of the ejaculation gets into the pancake batter but not enough to stop said person from continuing to make said pancake. The resulting breakfast food is a Wank-ake!
Roommate A:Hey man, I made breakfast you want some?

Roommate B:Sure, what'd you make?

Roommate A:Wank-akes!

Roommate B:Wait, WHAT?!?

Roommate A:I said Pancakes, man seriously, you want some or not?
by Defiantzel June 12, 2010
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wank-machine

1.(noun) Referring to a person, usually a male, who masturbates obssessively multiple times daily.

2.(noun) Referring, in a degrading manner, to anyone who holds a very high opinion of themselves but is actually just an idiot.
1. Man, Clive is a wank-machine of note. He spanked his little monkey thirteen times yesterday.

2. Fiddy is such a wank-machine.
by Jeby March 07, 2006
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wank hovel

when you have had a bad day, its the place where you go to curl up, wank and cry
"mate, my girlfriend dumped me, didn't leave my wank hovel for 2 weeks"
by smellthatshit78 October 12, 2009
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