wank-machine

1.(noun) Referring to a person, usually a male, who masturbates obssessively multiple times daily.

2.(noun) Referring, in a degrading manner, to anyone who holds a very high opinion of themselves but is actually just an idiot.

1. Man, Clive is a wank-machine of note. He spanked his little monkey thirteen times yesterday.

2. Fiddy is such a wank-machine.

by Jeby March 20, 2006

Wank Lag

A South West London term used to describe the feeling of exhaustion after an intense masturbation session.

'What did you get up to last night?'
'Spent the evening on the sofa watching TV 'cos I had a severe case of Wank Lag after being on Red Tube too long!'

by Duke of Earlsfield December 29, 2009

wank hovel

when you have had a bad day, its the place where you go to curl up, wank and cry

"mate, my girlfriend dumped me, didn't leave my wank hovel for 2 weeks"

by smellthatshit78 October 12, 2009

Gangster Wanking

when you chronically masterbate to hip hop videos and so forth!

Conner: william why do you always watch hip videos?
William: because im a gangster wanking!

by trippywill May 11, 2013

Cookie-Wank

You and your friends stand in a circle around a cookie. You start to jerk off and try to hit the cookie with your load. The first one who doesn't hit the cookie, or the last one to cum, has to eat it.

"Man, I still have the taste of the Cookie-Wank off yesterday in my mouth."
"Yes, I came first!"
"Oh man, I lost the Cookie-Wank again."
"Oh sorry I didn't mean to shoot you"

by TheFunnyGamer October 18, 2021

Grattan wank

Masturbating to the lingerie pages of a clothing catalogue, as you did when you were 13 and couldn't get hold of proper filth.

Also handy for when you want a change of pace from mind-blowing internet-based grot.

(The Grattan catalogue was popular in the Uk about 15 years ago, and had a huge ladies underwear section.)

"Dude, I went old school and had a badass Grattan wank last night"

by Ohfoshizzo November 2, 2009

Wank Beam

wank beam - a beam across a gap of which you aim for when you ejaculate

Hey man check that wank beam over there, i bet i can jizz on that bad boy!

by Amy Walker February 2, 2010