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Jesus

Star of the fiction work The New Testament. Worshiped by Christians.
Jesus was a guy who lived in the year 0-30
by lgyd dfgi July 6, 2011
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Jesus

This guy who was just trying to make a come up with his fire ass mixtape about being nice to people and not banging your neighbor's wife.

Ceasar was in studio at the time and was selling his wimpy ass mixes by the thousands, meanwhile no body listened to Jesus' mixtape and he got nailed to a tree because his poppin' beats just weren't up to par for the times.

After he died on the tree and was buried, he decided his career wasn't over and got up out of his tomb and started dropping fire beats again. But no one listened still, and he decided to just leave and go back to heaven where his mixes were appreciated.

He eventually got a fan club, but they've pretty much ruined his music for the rest of the us real fans ( S/O to my homies at Westboro Baptist for that )...

Nowadays there's this goat banging rival fan group of a DJ called Allah, who refuse to get with Jesus' beats, so they've started a clan war with the Jesus fans and it's getting fierce.
Yo! Look at Jesus dropping those fire beats!

beats mixtape goat fucker jesus fan club fire ass beats Westboro Baptist Church
by theonlycleanchipotlebathroom October 11, 2015
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Jesus

the realest nigga U will ever meet

John 3:27
Jesus came back from heaven and fucked shit up
by annsthemann November 20, 2014
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Jesus

The man that made up the biggest fairy tell because his mother was a slut and cheated on her husband but did not want to be caught. But yet to this day you fucking dumb asses can’t see that it’s all fake.
by Creeper king July 9, 2019
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jesus

an imaginary friend you have till you reach maturity. understandibly a large majority of the worlds population have not reached that stage in development. the are called "christians"'. they ban condoms, condem homosexuals and hang blacks. otherwise they are a reasonable sort. btw... he was a carpenter that lived with his mother, who was a virgin... yeah... hes cool.
little girl -"mommy... whens jesus coming back...?"
communist mother- "ahh those dirty capitalist regimes..."
by jewboylol November 12, 2009
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jesu!

"dude you like my pants?"
"Jesu! sugoi desu!
by madeeeeeeeeee October 1, 2008
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Jesus

A very attractive and sexy man.

Every girls dream man.
by Bob1212121212121 December 8, 2017
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