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ur mom

guy1: yo
guy2:ur mom
guy1:AAAAAAHHHH (fades out of existence)
by anonymous September 21, 2023
mugGet the ur mommug.

Catholic Mom

Things You Should Never Say To a Catholic Mom:

1. I'm sure your son will want to play with my Catholic toys.

Why it's offensive: Because your own little boy may never be Catholic, so you wouldn't understand. You don't know our secret, so don't even attempt to claim that you know our boys' favorite toys!

2. My kid is becoming more Catholic every day!

Why it's offensive: My child is not "becoming Catholic." Only Mother Theresa or Mother Teresa could speak to my child on a personal level.

3. Would you like to see the priest today?

Why it's offensive: Why would I want to see a priest? My Catholic faith is personal, and my son is not ready to go around asking people to make promises they can't keep. He is more concerned with driving cars, playing with animals, or his chicken.

4. My daughter is becoming more Catholic every day!

Why it's offensive: Because she is not. She is just my daughter. It is highly offensive to suggest that she is "becoming Catholic" because you don't know our secret.

5. My child does not understand Catholic prayers.

Why it's offensive: Do you understand what the F-word means? Do you know how to use a bedpan? Do you speak to your toddler like that?
6. I don't know why people are so judgmental.

Why it's offensive: Because you've never heard me getting on the phone with the delivery guy at Dominick's for 10 minutes because our cat didn't get her salad order right. It's called Motherhood, folks!

7. My son's Catholic school is making him go to mass.

Why it's offensive: Because your son's Catholic school is making you get him out of bed in the morning, make him go to mass, force him to participate in the sacraments, and make him listen to anything other than rap or country music for four hours.

8. I can't believe you'd let your kid go to that Catholic school!

Why it's offensive: You're not going to stop your child from going to public school, so why are you so concerned with mine?

9. My child is coming home with art projects. You know, the kind of stuff a nun wouldn't appreciate.

Why it's offensive: Because you're assuming that all art projects made by little boys are rough, violent, and inappropriately sexual. You know nothing about art, you fruitcake.

10. I'm not Catholic, so I don't need to send my child to Catholic school.

Why it's offensive: You're not Catholic, either! So how dare you criticize my choices? Who do you think you are?

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(This article was originally published at Catholic Mom.)
by Drapen November 19, 2022
mugGet the Catholic Mommug.

ur mom

“ur mom” means that ur mom has done something
“ur mom is so fat she broke the highway
by ur helper welder July 12, 2021
mugGet the ur mommug.

Your mom

Your mom smashed me last night. Did she tell you I taste good
by The cool mom February 28, 2023
mugGet the Your mommug.

Seduce Your Adoptive Mom Week

You get to sexually harass your adoptive mother.
And she can't do anything about it until after new years.
Ruin her fucking Christmas in a good way!
Hey moma~ wanna go to the bedroom and maybe.. ya know.. rock it?
It's seduce Your Adoptive Mom week~
by FOXALENNE December 22, 2022
mugGet the Seduce Your Adoptive Mom Weekmug.

Your Mom

Your Mom
Your Mom
by Warrior cat May 4, 2023
mugGet the Your Mommug.

your mom

your mom is so big its needs a whole building to sleep
by the falafel man January 6, 2021
mugGet the your mommug.

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