zombie-beard

A combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. It it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. The thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. I’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. There are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society

2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene

4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.

Yes people like this actually exist
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea

by Thequeenofbasicbitchery October 28, 2017

Coffee Zombie

A person who is a zombie until s/he has had her/his morning coffee.

Lisa is really being cranky this morning. She must not have had her coffee. You know what a coffee zombie she is.

by PharmGirl99 August 22, 2011

mobile zombie

a person who stands in the middle of the dance floor just stood there fiddling with their mobile phone or endlessly stood there filming some DJ instead of making the most of their night out.

It would have been a good night, but there were too many mobile zombies clogging up the dance floor

by fruit and the cakes December 21, 2013

TikTok Zombie

A person who constantly scrolls through tik tok. Instead of doing something productive they waste their time on cringe tik tok.

Normal Kid in hall: Yo watch where your going
TikTok Zombie: Oh my bad (continues to look down at tik tok while walking)

by LC bruh June 20, 2021

Attention Zombie

The most pathetic type of attention whore in the history of attention whores who fakes her own death online to get attention and sympathy from others. Usually accompanied by a league of her own alt accounts and simps who spread the news of unfortunate death and then a miraculous recovery few days later and collects all the attention.

"Is SoGna alright ? Haven't seen her online and I hear things."

Pfft...she's being an attention zombie. Again.

by urbanronin September 25, 2021

Goon Zombie

A person usually male that can only think of gooning to celebs

fuck i love olivia so much i'm goon zombie

by RockyCanoa March 2, 2023

Zombie Party

When a group of people get high on hallucinogens and have an orgy.

We were so messed up at that zombie party that i couldn't tell my cock from my knee.

by Flinnn June 11, 2016