Sandpaper Wank

An unpleasant/painful experience, which could be likened to masturbating with sandpaper.

"Wasteman! That exam was like a sandpaper wank"

by Eazy-JT January 20, 2010

Cry wank

When you're a sad fuck and horny at the same time

Mike: god i wanna kill mah self
Tyler: why don't you just cry wank
Mike: *proceeds to kill himself*

by Sad fuck March 25, 2020

Wank Beam

wank beam - a beam across a gap of which you aim for when you ejaculate

Hey man check that wank beam over there, i bet i can jizz on that bad boy!

by Amy Walker February 2, 2010

Grattan wank

Masturbating to the lingerie pages of a clothing catalogue, as you did when you were 13 and couldn't get hold of proper filth.

Also handy for when you want a change of pace from mind-blowing internet-based grot.

(The Grattan catalogue was popular in the Uk about 15 years ago, and had a huge ladies underwear section.)

"Dude, I went old school and had a badass Grattan wank last night"

by Ohfoshizzo November 2, 2009

Gangster Wanking

when you chronically masterbate to hip hop videos and so forth!

Conner: william why do you always watch hip videos?
William: because im a gangster wanking!

by trippywill May 11, 2013

wank hovel

when you have had a bad day, its the place where you go to curl up, wank and cry

"mate, my girlfriend dumped me, didn't leave my wank hovel for 2 weeks"

by smellthatshit78 October 12, 2009

Wank-ake

When someone wakes up with a stiffy and decides to make pancakes while at the same time wanking and as a result some of the ejaculation gets into the pancake batter but not enough to stop said person from continuing to make said pancake. The resulting breakfast food is a Wank-ake!

Roommate A:Hey man, I made breakfast you want some?

Roommate B:Sure, what'd you make?

Roommate A:Wank-akes!

Roommate B:Wait, WHAT?!?

Roommate A:I said Pancakes, man seriously, you want some or not?

by Defiantzel June 14, 2010