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King of the Douchebags

(1) A person who acts like a complete irresponsible moron one night (such as getting blasted drunk, gambling away a couple mortgage payments, dancing half naked on a bar) and, the next morning, annoints himself as such.
Someone else cannot annoint a King, subject to a rare exception.
(2) An exception to the self-annointment rule occurs when someone is an absolute total douche bag, and calling him such simply won't suffice.
(1) Q: So Mike, what did you do last night?
A: Oh, you didn't hear? I got hammered and spit food all over Mothers bakery. Then I went to the Casino, was up three thousand, but lost it all and another three thousand. I was King of the Douchebags.
(2) Kevin: Man, that guy with the sunglasses and diamond earrings is a total douche bag.
Mike: No, he's KING of the Douchebags.
by Kevin Muscoreil August 8, 2007
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Doucheborg

Anyone wearing a Bluetooth headset in public, especially when not actually using the device.

A play on the term 'douchebag', refers to both 'cyborg' (where a living human is enhanced through the addition of one or more surgically implanted electronic devices), and more specifically 'The Borg' of Star Trek: The Next Generation, with their utter interconnection to every other Borg.
I saw that guy standing at the urinal while talking on his Jawbone. What a doucheborg.
by thedugong September 9, 2009
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Douchebags

Companies that use employees and discard them without regard for their hardwork.

Employees of average intelligence and skill that capitalize on anothers hardwork and effort.
Those guys treat their employees like shit. They are a bunch of Douchebags.

That guy that stabbed his boss in the back and is now running the division is a real Douchebag because he knows his ex-boss worked hard to create the business unit.
by JudasIscariot2010 February 24, 2010
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gucci douchebag

1) Beautiful, attractive, sexy man who's a total douche.
Hey girl hey why don't you call Malcolm and invite him to the party?

Bitch please, that gucci douchebag would be flirting with other girls the whole night.

What a shame - he looks like a walking ad for Express.
by G2C^2 October 11, 2009
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Mafia Douchebag

Fat, balding men with little to no neck, a shaved ape like appearance and minimal intelligence level currently infesting most of Eastern Europe.
Look at that mafia douchebag over there in his 1987 Mercedes that he got by stealing money from the Bulgarian government - that guy should totally be killed immediately.
by BorisSDT June 23, 2011
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douchbagery

(douch-bag-ery)
The universal measurement of how much a douche/douchbag some is or is being at any given time.
wow i cant believe you pulled that bukkshit! your douchbagery is fukin astounding!
by jibbarousseau May 29, 2009
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Douchebag Theory

In the game of guy attracts girl, the only winning strategy for men any more is to simply be a complete tool, or douchebag. The sweet guy will always end up turning into the gay bestfriend with no hope of recovery.
Joe: You hear that Michelle started dating Chad?
Nerd: WTF I POORED MY HEART OUT TO HER JUST LAST NIGHT!
Joe: Well you know how douchebag theory is...
by Cosban June 29, 2011
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