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The Phantom Menace

The worst of the Star Wars movies, and also the one with the stupidest title (although Attack Of The Clones is daft, it doesn't sound like a name of a Scooby Doo episode).
Let's just look closely at the plot for a second..
Qui-Gonn Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to Naboo to negotiate an end to the blockade imposed by the Federation.. oh my god I'm yawning already. They rescue Padme and end up on Tatooine. Sadly without a hyperdrive.
So Qui-Gonn uses the Force to cheat at gambling with the locals, and enlists a 10 year old to race in an incredibly dangerous local sport. Does he care if the little squirt ends up as toast? No, not really - he didn't go there to rescue slaves. Anyway, they eventually manage to scam their way off the planet, taking Anakin with them since his midichlorians are off the scale. Uh huh.
Back on Coruscant, the Jedi Council pronounce Anakin unsuitable for Jedi training, so Qui-Gonn decides to do it anyway.
Cut to big battle on Naboo, carnage, improbable battle tactics, and didgeridoos cluttering up the soundtrack whenever we see the Gungans.
Darth Maul (one of the more rubbish Sith lords) kills Qui-Gonn and gets killed by Obi-Wan. Anakin saves the day. Palpatine starts touching him. Big street party, the end.

The special effects resemble something done to show off Luca's special effects workshop rather than anything to advance the story. Sadly, these effects are trounced by the WETA of LOTR fame.
Rubbish acting throughout, with wooden, humourless performances from all except Liam Neeson as Qui-Gonn and that guy who plays Palpatine.

Characters:

R2D2 - as usual, saves the day

C3PO - Annoying as ever

Qui-Gonn Jinn - now we found out what the Jedi were really like, a bunch of dodgy bastards

Obi-Wan Kenobi - should have been played by Russell Crowe.
Padme - Mmm, Natalie Portman.. shame she wasn't anywhere near as good as she is in Leon, or anything else

Palpatine - Like Liam Neeson, played by a great actor trapped amongst a cast of CG and equally lifeless actors

Jar Jar Binks - Die. Please. Just die. Galactic scum.
I'm surprised no-one else has defined The Phantom Menace. One word review - it's rubbish.
by Amidala's Pimp September 12, 2006
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Phantom Windpants

crazy windpants that have a zipper for a mouth and crazy glowing eyes.

the runner up to moo crew for woodstock academy sports crowd name, not to be confused with WA tang clan.
Barry:I put on my phantom windpants this morning and they tried to bite me in the testicles!

Jerry: Why do you where them?!?!

Barry: They break the wind well...almost too well.
by Gordan Geldispank March 31, 2009
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Phantom Train

Somewhat like one of the definitions of the houdini where you have sex with a chick doggy style in front of a window, pull out, and switch with a friend which then you go outside and wave to her through the window.

Except in this case you switch with several of your friends and see how many you can switch with before she notices.
Did you hear about Melissa? They ran the phantom train on her and they were 14 deep until she realized what was going on!
by Havoc3187 December 15, 2009
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phantom semi

a semi that is unexpected and litterally comes from nowhere
i was sitting in english and looked over towards my buddy barry white and whispered ''i got a phantom semi man''
by rtard-dan January 16, 2011
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Photomanized

Having lots of pictures of all the fun stuff you do. (Trips, camping, fairs, concerts, family life, home life, work life, etc.)
Check out all my Photomanized pictures in my facebook album called Trip to US.(Includes all pictures of your trip to the U.S)
by Raw_Coustic May 29, 2011
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Phantom Bug

An imaginary bug that your mind creates when your hair slightly touches your arms or neck, creating the feeling of bugs crawling on you.
-WHOA SHI-- Oh nevermind, it was just a phantom bug.
by Kp1111 July 28, 2011
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Phantom carrot

The feeling that your carrot is still there when its really gone.
Wife: Honey, do we have any carrots?

Husband: Yes, I think there is one left in the fridge.

Wife: I can't find it.

Husband: Oh, we must be out, then.

Wife: Sounds like you have a bad case of phantom carrot.
by vennic18 January 6, 2012
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