Sandpaper Wank

An unpleasant/painful experience, which could be likened to masturbating with sandpaper.

"Wasteman! That exam was like a sandpaper wank"

by Eazy-JT January 20, 2010

Cry wank

When you're a sad fuck and horny at the same time

Mike: god i wanna kill mah self
Tyler: why don't you just cry wank
Mike: *proceeds to kill himself*

by Sad fuck March 25, 2020

Gangster Wanking

when you chronically masterbate to hip hop videos and so forth!

Conner: william why do you always watch hip videos?
William: because im a gangster wanking!

by trippywill May 11, 2013

wank hovel

when you have had a bad day, its the place where you go to curl up, wank and cry

"mate, my girlfriend dumped me, didn't leave my wank hovel for 2 weeks"

by smellthatshit78 October 12, 2009

wank slacks

A pair of trousers (usually an old pair of jogging bottoms with an elastic waistband) in which a male can comfortably masturbate whilst wearing, thus creating warmth on a cold night without the need for a duvet or blanket.

Called fap slacks across the Atlantic.

"I see mikes got his wank slacks on, guess we know what he'll be doing later!"

by 240490 September 21, 2012

wasted wank

When the act of maturbation is disturbed causing loss of momentum or ejaculation in your pants because some inconsiderate person has turned up uninvited

I downloaded some wicked porn last night and was knocking one out then my mum walked through the door 2 hours early as I was just about to shoot my load, what a wasted wank

by Djc2508 January 16, 2014

Wank fairy

A mysterious being who, after a guy has masturbated in bed and not bothered to wipe up after, arrives and cleans up the area.

Responsible for the disappearance of cum

"The tooth fairy takes teeth - the wank fairy takes jizz - simple as that"

by Benjalo November 16, 2009