retired masturbater

a person who quit masturbating/ a person who plays fornite

Hey! What do you do for a living?
Nothing, I'm a retired masturbater.

by gigigig11 August 21, 2018

Jugular masculation

To rip out the jugular and use it to silence a lamb that has been sacraficed by a rabi. Usually used in satanic ceremonies to call upon the devil.

Steven: Hey bro you ready for the ceremony tonight?
Scott: Yeah bro. Are you talking about the jugular masculation where we rip out the person who’s name comes out the hats jugular?
Steve: Yeah it’s going to be so good.

by Biggest_Boi_Chungus April 13, 2019

To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)

"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"

by anonymous January 14, 2021

ANUS MASTURBATE

It is a BOWEL MOVEMENT from start to finish and it has a PURE PURPOSE at a certain point.

Well, when you realize that this is the most PURE ACT in the world which is proven by the ultimate ASSHOLE LEADER your ANUS MASTURBATE and that is why it feels so good most of the TIME when SHIT passes from your ANUS into the ASSHOLE to the outside world.

by NOBLE PEACE SUNDER EEE October 13, 2021

must masturbate may

something that does not exist like your dad

Joe "When is must masturbate may?"
Jeff "When your dad comes back."
Joe cries

by IDK BUT YOUR MUM IS GAY November 21, 2022

Canadian Masturbate

The act of freezing ones foreskin to the point it snaps and cracks when one gets an erection.

"Don't pick a fight with me, or I'll Canadian Masturbate all over you!"

by Nacho Gomez October 9, 2024

Amish Masturbate

To "Amish Masturbate" is to masturbate without the assistance of any modern technological advancements.
This means no screens, no porno, no vibrators, and no masturbatory aid of any kind.

Man, I've been watching too much porn lately. I think I'm going to exclusively Amish masturbate for a while.

by Epileptic Squirrel Rapist December 7, 2024