Pleasure Hammer

A big fat cock. Huge man meat. Thick and rigid.

He tore my house up with his pleasure hammer.

He put that pleasure hammer to my ass and I can’t walk today.

by Eaton Holgoode December 15, 2017

Hammering the Beets

Male masturbation. Typically, the more vigorous and rough variety. Not just a causal wank.

I walked in on my roommate sitting on the toilet hammering the beets. I wondered what the smacking was.

My uncle paid me $50 to let him watch me hammering the beets.

I’m so sore from hammering the beets. My balls are swollen. I was on pornhub all day.

by Dick Onchin September 23, 2020

hammered hell

Trashed, Completely unacceptable. Non negotiable. Beyond recognition. Unsatisfactory.

You look like hammered hell. I feel like hammered hell.

by Jl77diver January 6, 2014

The Hammer of Thor

A form of Cock and Ball Torture where one is strapped naked outside during a thunderstorm and has a lightning rod inserted into the urethra. Should a bolt of lightning strike it, they achieve the power of Thor.

Simp 1: “bruh my girl is gonna give me The Hammer of Thor if it rains tonight.”
Simp 2: “don’t fucking talk to me dude.”

by Monkey Shagger May 1, 2020

fuckin hammered

Beyond hammered but not quite shitfaced

Dude, I am fuckin hammered!!!

Did you see Chris last night? He was fuckin hammered!

by I<3BEER! June 13, 2011

Hammer Tits

Tits that are so big they feel like a hammer when rested on your face.

Dude Lisa Ann's hammer tits are insane.!!
-Ya, she flopped em all over my face last weekend, they really nailed me if you know what I mean!!

by HammerTitties January 13, 2016

hammer bat

presumably a crude mix between, obviously, a bat and a hammer, which would essentially have the same general function as either a bat or a hammer, with slight aesthetic variation.

also the last thing you want to see in your google feed when looking for help with a missing hammer.bat file.

Dennis: "Dude, check this out. Stay with me here, what if someone made a hammer... bat..."
Quincy: "Shut up, Dennis."
Dennis: "I'm gonna do it."

Google: "What? He actually did it? This deserves two full pages, at least."
4chan: "Shut up, Google."
Google: "Get a search bar."
4chan: "Never."
Steam: "Holy shit. You guys, someone actually made a hammer bat."
Troll: "Whoever is writing this needs to shut up."
Steam: "That is hilarious, who named this hammer.bat? You, James? You get a raise."

Quincy: "..."
Dennis: "Dude, I TOLD you. HAMMERBAT bro. hammer. bat."
Quincy: "Oh my GOD, and you're STILL talking about it."
Dennis: "hammerrrre batito."
Quincy: "Fuck you, dude, the hammer bat is still stupid."
Dennis: "Dude, you are so jealous! You're jealous of the hammer bat!"
Quincy: "No..."
Dennis: "Oh you're not jealous?"
Quincy: "Absolutely not!"
Dennis: "You're not jealous of the three pages in google when you type in hammer bat?"
Quincy: "Oh come on, you don't have to look it up now... Jesus."
Dennis: "Three pages. They call that a hat trick, son. A hammer bat trick... Patrick."
Quincy: "You can't even type, you typed in 'hammer.bat', you fool. You absolute fool!"
Dennis: "Oh my god, it's fine, Quincy, see? It still comes up with the hammer bat. Three pages, boys . Read 'em and weep."
Quincy: "Oh my god, shut UP, Dennis."

by hawkjames October 14, 2013