The Blackhole Theory

The theory that states; if a large mass of Africans are in one area at a given time the mass is so excessive that not even a white can escape from it's colossal force.

Boy 1: I'm on my way to your house. What street do you live on?
Boy 2: Well, you have to take MLK blvd to get there, but I'll tell you from there.
Boy 1: Turning around. Holy Shit...
Boy 2: Wait... Are you serious?
Boy 1: Yeah dude. No offense, but too many of 'your people' in one area can cause me to disappear off the face of the Earth. Have you never heard of The Blackhole Theory?!
Boy 2: Das Racist.

by Their Savior January 16, 2012

Innocence Theory

"Innocence theory" is the theory in where if a person is rich, a politician, a movie star, owner of a company, or otherwise well-known - that they are automatically innocent no matter what the evidence is which shows them as guilty. Die hard believers in innocence theory tend to not even care if the person themselves had admitted to the conspiracy.
This makes a joke out of the people who don't know what the word "conspiracy" actually means, as the true definition of the word "conspiracy" is to *conspire* a crime.

"Oh, so you think Epstein killed himself in jail huh? And what about everyone else who would have wanted him dead? Oh they're innocent? So you believe in *innocence theory* huh?"

"Look, I get that all people are innocent until proven guilty. But to think someone is permanently innocent no-matter the evidence is ridiculous innocence theory."

by Biggie Dawg January 11, 2021

egg theory

Egg theory is the belief that says all femboys and tomboys are transgender. Egg theorists either don't believe in the existence of cis femboys and tomboys, or believe that their gender non-conformity is transphobic, completely unaware of the irony of them policing their gender based on their AGAB. When an egg theorist sees a femboy or tomboy, they try to "crack their egg", which is code for "gaslight and harass them into transitioning to the opposite gender".

Egg theorist: "Astolfo is a trans girl!"
a sane person: "Egg theory solidifies gender binarist stereotypes. Stop supporting egg theory."

by cutesy pastel living doll August 4, 2023

The Marmite Theory

The theory that if a girl likes marmite, she swallow after giving a blow job, and if she doesn't like marmite she'll spit.

'So I was getting head from Mary last night, but she doesn't like marmite so the end was a real buzz kill. Damn the marmite theory!'

by Joeh! January 3, 2013

boots theory

A socio-economic theory named by the character Captain Samuel Vimes in Terry Pratchet's novel "Men at Arms." The boots theory suggests that wealthy individuals end up spending less money in the long run compared to poorer individuals due to the wealthy being able to invest in high-quality products that last for several years or more, whereas the impoverished must subsist on cheaper, low-quality versions of the same items that only last for a short period of time before needing to be replaced.

"My rich friend is able to buy a pair of boots that cost me two months' salary, and they'll last him forever. I'm stuck buying crappy knock-offs that wear out after only a few weeks. That's boots theory in practice right there."

by AOmundson January 29, 2022

Racepiracy Theory

When the only answer as to why something bad is happening, or has happened, to a minority group is that the evil white men control everything.

Marvin was out there telling everyone his Racepiracy Theory again. Those secret evil white guy overlords must be some real bad dudes.

by Corporal America June 17, 2020

Jerk Theory

The theory that a girl is more likely to become attracted to a guy who is a complete tool and treats her with little to none respect over a nice guy.

I bought her some flowers but when she answered the door there was some jerk there too. He just handed me a book on the Jerk Theory.

by Thatone random guy May 5, 2014