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22 reasons to stay single:

Women, wear your badge of 'single-ness' proudly. I like being single. Getting involved is scary. Here's why:

1. you can no longer collect or give your number to the really hot guys
2. you have to get ready for huge disappointments (forgetten birthdays, holidays, etc...)
3. you can no longer trust your best friend. (you have to watch her out of the corner of your eye when with your man.)
4. you have to explain to your parents who the new guy is
5. no more eating two double cheeseburgers. Just a salad and water.
6. you have to pretend to like the cheesy gift he presented to you in front of everyone.
7. you have to stop your embarrassing habits.
8. you have to start calling yourself fat for recognition b/c he doesn't compliment you enough.
9. you cant wear the gramma panties anymore
10. you have to shave
11. you have to cook for two now
12. you have to deal with vicious rumors spread by his ex and her posse.
13. if you're nice to a male in public, he'll call it flirting and use it as his permanent defense in every argument.
14. He won't respect the cat.
15. He'll tell his buddies that you're stingy with the 'putty', but in fact, when you're in the mood, he's tiiired
16. you eventually have to deal with the break up
17. everyone wants to know how you two met, regardless how incredibly boring it was.
18. you have to put on your fake smile and endure 3 long hours of candy-coated insults or awkward silence when meeting his parents'.
19. After the breakup, your paranoia will convince you that he wants to torch the cat, thus causing you thousands in expensive therapy.
20. If your mother likes him and you two break up, she'll always refer to him as 'the one that got away.'
21. You have to start laughing at his jokes, regardless of how lame they are.
22. You have to hold your farts in



Miss Britney Kneecap
Tip for those in relationships: If you have Mexican for dinner, never EVER let him follow you to the bathroom. You will be sorry.... and so will he.
by Miss Britney Kneecap June 20, 2004
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Single Frame Ashtray

Unknown band, released firts LP entitled "wetheads come running" and should be considered a very catchy band with great guitar work.
by Bee2k June 9, 2003
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Singledoom

Singledoom is the level below singledom which is "the state of being unmarried or not involved in a long-term relationship".

Singledoom is the seemingly infinite state of being single while all your friends hook up, make you sick with copious PDA, marry, breed, are rarely seen again seemingly too captivated by their attached bliss to appear, except at their wedding or baby showers; while you remain dateless, sexless and happy couples encourage you to "put yourself out there" whilst referring to you as bitter behind your back.
Singledoom is crapola and I will throw rotten persimmons at the next newly 'we are so in love couple' who can't take it home to start the touchy touch makeout. BARF.
by whatevesy Bevsy March 1, 2011
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single clap

When a large crowd or audience decides to have one synchronized clap instead of a round of applause.
CJ: Okay I'm done clapping. Let's do a single clap.
by cpaul1850 December 3, 2011
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Single Depression

When someone goes into a very sad state -after breaking up

-being single for a very long time when not wanting to be single the whole time
Not to be confused with single desperateness and break up sadness.
Buddy: Yo that girl's been crying a lot lately
Me: Ya she broke up with her ex a year ago and now she's got some serious single depression.
by J12lin December 3, 2014
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single saavy

Being single so long you can detect a douche bag from a mile away.
Diana is so single saavy that she can recognize anyone wearing an Ed Hardy shirt is a douche bag.
by kicatlady May 20, 2014
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Singlevisualize

The act of verbally calling one person out (jokingly, degrading and or to bring the attention of) in a crowd so that it is also brought to the attention of the surrounding people or persons in a public setting.
Ed thought he was the best pool player in town untill Tyler Singlevisualized him out in front of the bar to a best out of 3 match for money.
by Mrbadlt1 August 21, 2014
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