Can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch

Idiom. Used to describe a person's lack of intelligence or inability to perform/achieve a simple task.

Is it any surprise how badly he did? That idiot can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch.

by Catfish Baruni June 16, 2016

Yankee candle

The act of taking laxatives and then pooping the liquid shart onto the females pubic hairs. After you shart onto the pubic hairs you must light the liquid poop covered pubic hairs on fire than proceed to eat her out.

Tyler: Can we spice it up in the bed giving brain is getting boring

Jessica: Sure take some laxatives and give me the yankee candle

Tyler: Sounds fun!!!!

by White frosting December 07, 2020

Radio Candle

Listening to music while beating thy meat in the shower. Radio candle is obtained when dick burn begins to occur.

Farley: Afternoon Richard, how are you?
Richard: Not so good, I'm still feeling the effects of radio candle from when I beat it in the YMCA shower.

by King Shlong July 08, 2015

Oddly shaped candle

When in rule 34 art, when a dick casts a shadow, but you can only see the shadow

“Oh, have you seen this art, that’s the shadow of an oddly shaped candle”

by Derpking666 December 31, 2023

The Wankee Candle

Created by none other than Drakey Fucking Hall. The Wankee Candle is a candle that once lit acts as an aphrodisiac. Around women you make sweet love. Alone you wank yourself into oblivion.

I didn't get lucky so when I got home I lit The Wankee Candle. My chest looked like I had been attacked by Spider-Man come 3am.

by Drakey_Hall February 06, 2018

The Wankee Candle

Created by none other than Drakey Fucking Hall. The Wankee Candle is a candle that once lit acts as an aphrodisiac. Around women you make sweet love. Alone you wank yourself into oblivion.

I didn't get lucky so when I got home I lit The Wankee Candle. My chest looked like I had been attacked by Spider-Man come 3am.

by Drakey_Hall February 06, 2018

candle princess

A pale person who never goes out into direct sunlight due to their fear of getting burnt or being too hot and melting. Often covering their face with a parasol in summer and wearing factor 50 suncream no matter the season.

Oh she wont want to come to the park, she's such a candle princess!

by Boopityboopityboo January 04, 2020