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Dragon-Beard

A sad, wilted foreskin, caused by having too little of your foreskin removed at birth, resembling that of a dragons beard depicted in ancient Japanese paintings.
Dude, how long has it been since you've scrubbed that dick jacket? That dragon-beard's so stanky i can smell it from the kitchen.
by TheRealFrankieMuniz December 24, 2016
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Bearded Pepper

The result of copulation between a man and a cursed corpse. The man's penis takes on the appearance of a hairy jalapeno.

Origin: The condition was first mentioned on the podcast "Learning to Curse with Adam & Chuck", where it is used as a recurring joke.
Person 1 Hey, bro... how do you cure a bearded pepper?

Person 2 There is no cure... that's what you get for being a necrophiliac.
by Learningtocurse August 28, 2018
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catnip beard

A man's beard that is so attractive women (or men) cannot control their impulse to touch, stroke, or rub themselves against it, similar to how cats find catnip irresistible.
Foley's got a real catnip beard; whenever I see him I just can't keep my hands off of it!
by figurista June 7, 2014
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zombie-beard

A combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. It it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. The thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. I’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. There are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society

2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene

4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.
Yes people like this actually exist
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea
by Thequeenofbasicbitchery October 28, 2017
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cooter beard

A cooter beard is a mustache/goatee combo that connects and resembles a 1970s vagina, crudely referred to as a cooter.
In an disturbing grooming trend, more and more men are sporting the cooter beard.
by Navinger March 6, 2020
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Beard Kisser

A derogatory term for someone who likes to kiss bearded men or just men in general. Can be referring to a homosexual or anyone who prefers bearded men.
Jim - "Hey i saw John making out with a dude last night."

Jeff - "What!?! I didnt know he was a Beard kisser!"
by Gimli Smith October 22, 2012
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Shaving the Beard

When a heterosexual woman divorces her gay husband.
After 30 years of unknowingly acting as Bruce's beard, Cindy finally divorced him after he got caught red-handed at the gay bar.

Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?

Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!
by Steve Fraser September 21, 2011
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