by ukjfsd March 15, 2023
He was the best thing before sliced bread, apparently
he did something for some jews then died on a cross, i dunno
See family guy
he did something for some jews then died on a cross, i dunno
See family guy
by Stuartthebank September 14, 2007
Jesus Christ is the savior that God has given to the world. He died on the cross and shed blood to cleanse the sin of every sinner. To those people who believed in Him would not be perished but have everlasting life.
by Annyeong June 09, 2021
Known by Christians as the Messiah, the savior; the bringer of light to the after-world of darkness.
By other Abrachamic Religions he is known merely as a prophet, bring the word of God.
By other Abrachamic Religions he is known merely as a prophet, bring the word of God.
Jesus is a liberal
by condoms r too small for me July 31, 2018
A long-dead Middle-Eastern hippy who smoked weed and fathered many screwed up kids including George W. Bush and John McCain.
by Marcina June 18, 2008
An established Jesus peep may declare the Jesusness of a person, place, object, idea or situation for the sole purpose of observing the reaction of the potentially Jesus peep. This reaction would serve as confirmatory evidence of the Jesusness or non-Jesusness of the peep. The reaction of a non-Jesus peep could range from a look of bewilderment, to a facepalm, to a look of disgust--or simply walking away from the situation altogether. A Jesus peep would convey understanding of the Jesus-ness of the subject through unhesitant laughter, a high five, hand hug, or the Jesus Nod. In addition to these acknowledgements, the most bitchin' Jesus person would readily offer additional insight that further develops the Jesusness of the Jesus topic.
It must also be noted that usage of the term 'Jesus' may serve as an acceptable means of self-promotion. At the appropriate moments, a Jesus person might decide to claim Jesusness--much in the same way a nonJesus person would say, "I'm cool," the main difference being the irrefutability of the Jesusness of the Jesus peep, as opposed to the probable uncoolness of the nonJesus peep. The reason behind this is simple: Jesus is truth, and Jesus peeps only speak truth. Thus, it ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus.
It must also be noted that usage of the term 'Jesus' may serve as an acceptable means of self-promotion. At the appropriate moments, a Jesus person might decide to claim Jesusness--much in the same way a nonJesus person would say, "I'm cool," the main difference being the irrefutability of the Jesusness of the Jesus peep, as opposed to the probable uncoolness of the nonJesus peep. The reason behind this is simple: Jesus is truth, and Jesus peeps only speak truth. Thus, it ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus.
by jesuser than a mofo August 12, 2010
God's baby. He was the first baby ever born. God thought he would change the rules a little and instead of Mary, his wife having the baby come out of her vagina, he wanted to be the only man to have a baby come out of their penis. Jesus came from God's penis, and so he grew up to have a vagina. He was demented and round like a hot dog. Kids at school picked on Jesus and called him Jesus the Penis. Jesus went on for about 33 years of his life being made fun of and all God could do is say "Make them sorry, Jesus. Make them remember you." And so one day Jesus got overly depressed, found a Pot Leaf and smoked it with a magical pot bowl. He became high, and decided to build a cross, hang himself up on it, and forced his father to nail him to it. Jesus said he was sacrificing himself for others, but he really wanted people to feel bad for him. He is still remembered to this day, and this is the only proof found of him.
by Marrrrrs December 16, 2009