Angry Jesus

The answers to grifter con-man demanding forgiveness, with no intent of redemption.

John 2:13-17 (Clearing the Temple): Jesus drove out sellers and money changers, saying, "'My house will be called a house of prayer,' but you have made it 'a den of robbers'".

A)So what? Turn the cheek, forgive me!

B) Forgiveness, that is nice, that was the other guy, and he was the better man. But what about Angry Jeasus when threw the robbers out the temple.

A) I don't want to talk about angry Jesus anymore.

by Modern Women December 30, 2025

the holy jesus

for people into shit fetishes this ones for you after a long period of anal fucking a bird that had a bad case of the shits you stand and stretch like jesus on the cross then the girl still in the doggy position sprays you from head to foot in shit causing the holy jesus effect its a mix of holy shit and jesus

oh mighty god i pray to thee that you give this woman thy power to spray thee in feocal matter from thy head to thy foot therefore giving me thy power of the holy jesus

by anal*smear August 21, 2008

Mother of Jesus Christ

Something you yell out when your team is losing or you have to pay a expensive bill.

John- Mother of Jesus Christ i can't believe the Patriots are losing to the Raiders

Me- I guess the patriots just suck

by Crzyfkr October 9, 2010

tastes like jesus

Used to describe when something was terrible. Can be used for awkward social interactions, bad-tasting food, an event that was a total let down, or when you have to give great customer service to a total asshole.

*you escape from an awkward social interaction where everyone was struggling and failing miserably to make conversation*
"Man, that tasted like Jesus."

*person eats something rotten*
"Ew! " *spits out food* "Dont eat that, that shit tastes like Jesus!"

by Someplace Dude August 21, 2016

Twerking for Jesus

When you not twerking for nobody but Jesus so it's not a sin

Twerking for Jesus :Wow that girl really twerking to gosple for jesus.

By polo Dolo gone solo

by Polo Dolo gone solo January 6, 2017

3 pointer jesus

someone who knows their Jesus even when they ballin on the court

man look at him being a 3 pointer jesus!

by AyyyePappi101 August 3, 2017

Oh lord jesus

When someone does something dumb out of no where.
When someone looks dumb.
When something happens unexpectedly.

Jocelyn: "hey, did you see ally's makeup today?"
Arlette: "no why?"
*arlette sees ally's horrifying make up*

Arlette: "oh lord Jesus"

by issasneak August 10, 2017