Douche monkey means: Someone being rude also acting very ignorant and saying or doing something uncalled for. (2) An insult or joke to use for someone you do not like or are friends with
(1)
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."
(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."
(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."
by Dalyena October 26, 2015
Get the Douche monkeymug. A term of endearment used to express boundless, unbridled, and unconditional love for your friends (and vaginal cavity)
bye, douche
by natsrox1998 April 15, 2017
Get the Douchemug. An attractive person who acts like shit.
by Sarah vivian April 12, 2021
Get the Douche kabobmug. Talks really loud, laughs, and yawns way to loud. Often finds their own jokes funnier then they really are. Has a lot of blonde moments and isn't very skilled in socializing with others.
by annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd November 21, 2014
Get the douche bagmug. by Gfndog May 7, 2015
Get the transitional douchemug. An abrasive female. Typically bald or has unusually colorful hair. Septim pierced. Completely disrespectful. Intense and often times loud. Is usually wylin. Hard to contain and unpredictable.
by Slizzlefish January 16, 2018
Get the Douche Nuggetmug. A person who is incredibly annoying as a salesperson, clerk, or bartender. Someone who is a douche about how much they are charging for something.
Charging a lot of money for something is not what qualifies an individual as a mercantile douche. The individual must get upset and defensive when you challenge or inquire about the pricing schedule of their product. Basically they will be a dick when you ask about the price of something, and act like they are personally offended by your question. This description of an individual is especially poignant when the individual that is acting as a mercantile douche is not the individual who sets the prices or actually receives increased revenue from the pricing schedule.
Charging a lot of money for something is not what qualifies an individual as a mercantile douche. The individual must get upset and defensive when you challenge or inquire about the pricing schedule of their product. Basically they will be a dick when you ask about the price of something, and act like they are personally offended by your question. This description of an individual is especially poignant when the individual that is acting as a mercantile douche is not the individual who sets the prices or actually receives increased revenue from the pricing schedule.
Bar Patron: "Hi sir, why does this IPA only get a 12oz pour but the pale ale is 16oz?"
Mercantile Douche: {launches into lengthy diatribe about the cost of brewing beer and state laws about alcohol consumption. also uses condescending tone and has hipster mutton chops}
Bar Patron: "Geez man, I was just curious... I'll take a pale ale"
Mercantile Douche: {ignores social cue from patron that he doesn't want or need the lecture and continues his butthurt speech about why you should pay the same price for less on the IPA, eventually does poor beer}
"Wow, I just asked that bartender why the IPA cost a dollar more than the pale ale. He got super butthurt about defensive and started lecturing me about the cost of making beer. What a Mercantile Douche."
Mercantile Douche: {launches into lengthy diatribe about the cost of brewing beer and state laws about alcohol consumption. also uses condescending tone and has hipster mutton chops}
Bar Patron: "Geez man, I was just curious... I'll take a pale ale"
Mercantile Douche: {ignores social cue from patron that he doesn't want or need the lecture and continues his butthurt speech about why you should pay the same price for less on the IPA, eventually does poor beer}
"Wow, I just asked that bartender why the IPA cost a dollar more than the pale ale. He got super butthurt about defensive and started lecturing me about the cost of making beer. What a Mercantile Douche."
by kingofthedodge December 31, 2018
Get the Mercantile Douchemug.