The Way Of The Douche
A way of life. It's often learned through a grueling 2 hour escalator ride up a mountain to the sacred temple of the douche. Inside you will find a room filled with Vanilla Ice posters, and the legend himself, Vanilla Ice, slouched over chanting his famous *Meeeeeeeeeee* mantra whilst fixated on his own posters. He will gaze into your soul, and if he feels you are douchy enough, and can improve, he will teach you 'The Way Of The Douche'.
Pro Tips:
- Don't wear a baseball cap with the brim curved and authenticity stickers removed. Rookie mistake.
- Orange spray tan is a nice addition
- Tell Vanilla "Cool as Ice" is the best movie you've ever seen straight faced.
- Call him "ma boi" and "homeslice" and such. Oh and "O.D" (Original Douche), he loves that.
If Kanye is filling in for Vanilla, then re-adjust strategy for Kanye. Say things like "Yeah, Beyonce should've won", "$300?, I would pay $600 for one of your plain white tees!" and "your creative genius knows no limits".
Pro Tips:
- Don't wear a baseball cap with the brim curved and authenticity stickers removed. Rookie mistake.
- Orange spray tan is a nice addition
- Tell Vanilla "Cool as Ice" is the best movie you've ever seen straight faced.
- Call him "ma boi" and "homeslice" and such. Oh and "O.D" (Original Douche), he loves that.
If Kanye is filling in for Vanilla, then re-adjust strategy for Kanye. Say things like "Yeah, Beyonce should've won", "$300?, I would pay $600 for one of your plain white tees!" and "your creative genius knows no limits".
"I heard Bieber is learning "The Way of the Douche""
"Yeah man. Second time up that escalator now."
"Whoa."
"Yeah man. Second time up that escalator now."
"Whoa."
The Way Of The Douche by Kittles48 September 19, 2018
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