A combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. It it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. The thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. I’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. There are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society
2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene
4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society
2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene
4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.
Yes people like this actually exist
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea
by Thequeenofbasicbitchery October 28, 2017
Get the zombie-beardmug. A cooter beard is a mustache/goatee combo that connects and resembles a 1970s vagina, crudely referred to as a cooter.
by Navinger March 6, 2020
Get the cooter beardmug. A man's beard that is so attractive women (or men) cannot control their impulse to touch, stroke, or rub themselves against it, similar to how cats find catnip irresistible.
by figurista June 7, 2014
Get the catnip beardmug. The point in beard growth when the length is beyond stubble or stylishly short fuzz, and a decision must be made to trim, shave, or let it grow.
A secondary characteristic of many beard horizons is, as the length becomes more noticeable, it can become more distracting or annoying...such as with moustache hair that curls over the upper lip, or chin hair that is frequently messed with.
A secondary characteristic of many beard horizons is, as the length becomes more noticeable, it can become more distracting or annoying...such as with moustache hair that curls over the upper lip, or chin hair that is frequently messed with.
This douchey chinstrap is gettin' kind of burly...think I've hit beard horizon.
Hey, Justin...your carefully cultuvated "fashionably unkempt" party stubble is turning into a full-blown hipster face-wig. I think you blew past beard horizon some time during a weekend PBR bender.
Hey, Justin...your carefully cultuvated "fashionably unkempt" party stubble is turning into a full-blown hipster face-wig. I think you blew past beard horizon some time during a weekend PBR bender.
by lordjupiter December 9, 2012
Get the beard horizonmug. "Dude, are you doing no-shave November?" "Yeah man, but I've got to do some pre-bearding on this goatee first."
"Are you trying to grow a beard?" "Why yes I am, but first I have to pre-beard this part because it takes forever to get long."
"Are you trying to grow a beard?" "Why yes I am, but first I have to pre-beard this part because it takes forever to get long."
by thebeardmeister September 23, 2011
Get the Pre-Beardingmug. by Don Lars December 12, 2009
Get the U-Beardmug. AKA Splash Tash
The stocky mass of bugger broth which usually finds itself pumped on the chops of a genuflecting lass or ravenous mincer.
The stocky mass of bugger broth which usually finds itself pumped on the chops of a genuflecting lass or ravenous mincer.
‘As Denise skipped out of Pinewood Studios after her successful audition, she wondered if the 50cc’s of rod flem that had been pissed on her face to form a claggy jizz beard was worth it.
by Herbie Dongsporran October 13, 2021
Get the Jizz Beardmug.