Hipster: My
dad threw me a huge birthday party and invited all my friends
Vegan: That was nice of him my,
dad would never do that for me.
Hipster: Actually it was the worst day of my life. The party was in the basement and the cake was loaded with exlax and he locked us all down there with no bathroom while we weren't paying attention, then left to go to Vegas for the weekend with my
mom.
Vegan: Wow you were the recipient of a seriously brutal
lesbian buttfuck.
Hipster: I fucked your stupid girlfriend.