U-Beard

Lower half of a goatee in the shape of a U due to lack of proper beard growing skills.

Ben Roethlisberger has been spotted sporting a U-Beard

by Don Lars December 12, 2009

Jizz Beard

AKA Splash Tash

The stocky mass of bugger broth which usually finds itself pumped on the chops of a genuflecting lass or ravenous mincer.

‘As Denise skipped out of Pinewood Studios after her successful audition, she wondered if the 50cc’s of rod flem that had been pissed on her face to form a claggy jizz beard was worth it.

by Herbie Dongsporran October 13, 2021

Bearded Pope

The act of shitting on the face of an elderly Catholic.

He was fuming after being given a bearded pope

by dcj278 July 6, 2011

Schrodinger’s beard

When someone has a sizable amount of facial hair, but it still cannot be considered a beard. Usually common in high school boys and reddit moderators.

Person 1: I cant tell if that guy has a beard or not
Person 2: Yeah. He’s got a Schrodinger’s beard

by TotallyDinosaur October 3, 2023

Ear Beard

When the hair in a man's (or woman's) ear becomes so coarse and bountiful, that it resembles a normal facial beard. It needs constant grooming and trimming.

Praful's ear beard has gotten so out of control that you can no longer see his ear, only the hair that covers it. Praful shaves it monthly, but his ear beard 5 o'clock shadow is apparent by the next day.

by Taterbutthole October 26, 2010

catnip beard

A man's beard that is so attractive women (or men) cannot control their impulse to touch, stroke, or rub themselves against it, similar to how cats find catnip irresistible.

Foley's got a real catnip beard; whenever I see him I just can't keep my hands off of it!

by figurista June 7, 2014

beard horizon

The point in beard growth when the length is beyond stubble or stylishly short fuzz, and a decision must be made to trim, shave, or let it grow.

A secondary characteristic of many beard horizons is, as the length becomes more noticeable, it can become more distracting or annoying...such as with moustache hair that curls over the upper lip, or chin hair that is frequently messed with.

This douchey chinstrap is gettin' kind of burly...think I've hit beard horizon.

Hey, Justin...your carefully cultuvated "fashionably unkempt" party stubble is turning into a full-blown hipster face-wig. I think you blew past beard horizon some time during a weekend PBR bender.

by lordjupiter December 9, 2012