Trust me bro

Do not trust me. I’m basically gonna screw up and ruin anything and everything I say or do, but I’m putting on a reassuring face so you’re shocked by the magnitude of fuck up I’m about to commit.

You - “Hey man did you finish the take home quiz?”
Bro - “Yeah bro here! I got you, fam!”
You - “You got all the answers? I need to pass this, or I’ll fail out.”
Bro - “Yeah don’t worry! Trust me bro.”

by Banglatiger September 2, 2022

worrying me to death

when someone is getting on your nerves to a point where you just want to die.

"Who's that girl calling you?"

"That's just Tracy from school, stop worrying me to death.

by Spalm008 October 9, 2008

Do Me a Google

Coined by Danielle Dunne in the Spring of 2010, "Do Me a Google" is a text message in which you ask someone who has internet access to look up something on Google. The term was invented in order to shorten the amount of characters needed to ask such a question.

Hey, could you do me a google on Wilco?

by In denuyl October 13, 2010

fuck me to tears

A cry of angst.

As the first M-1 Abrams rolled into Baghdad, Saddam cried out, "Fuck me to tears", shaved his beard, donned a dress, lightly applied make-up and then slipped out the back door and joined the fleeing refugees.

by harry flashman August 5, 2003

jew call me

How most people say "Did You Call Me?"
Slow the fuck down when you talk and you won't sound like such a German!

Kevin: "Jew call me last night?"
Corey: "Please slow down when you talk Kevin. You just said the word jew."

by M Dogg March 25, 2005

Scissor me timbers

A variation of "shiver me timbers," a common pirating term, screamed by women during lesbian lovemaking. The term refers to their interlocking legs, which are often spread at an angle similar to open scissors.

"How does this double headed dildo feel, lesbian lover?"

"Scissor me timbers!"

by Motorboating SOB April 13, 2009

Show me the receipts

Response asking for proof of one's past misdeeds when a queen makes a wild accusation about you. *Be careful, if the receipts can be presented, then YOU look like an ass!

Dontatella Vertachi: "Gurl, why the hell were you dancing half naked with David while your man was passed out last night?"
Cuckoo Channel: "Show me the receipts!"
Dontatella Vertachi" *Whips out camera phone* "Here! I took a video!"

by JrsProperty17 May 31, 2012