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Douche

Whenever three (3) or more safety professionals gather in a group, it is called a “Douche”.
Heads up, there’s a Safety Douche coming to inspect us.

Based on the size of that Douche, we are all getting wrote up.
by Captain Safe-T June 16, 2022
mugGet the Douchemug.

Protien douche

Taking his load of babies straight to the cervix and then leaking it all out while getting your daily dose of protien
I got my protien douche this morning. Shawn really knows how to shove it in...
by Frickenfina August 15, 2022
mugGet the Protien douchemug.

Mercantile Douche

A person who is incredibly annoying as a salesperson, clerk, or bartender. Someone who is a douche about how much they are charging for something.

Charging a lot of money for something is not what qualifies an individual as a mercantile douche. The individual must get upset and defensive when you challenge or inquire about the pricing schedule of their product. Basically they will be a dick when you ask about the price of something, and act like they are personally offended by your question. This description of an individual is especially poignant when the individual that is acting as a mercantile douche is not the individual who sets the prices or actually receives increased revenue from the pricing schedule.
Bar Patron: "Hi sir, why does this IPA only get a 12oz pour but the pale ale is 16oz?"
Mercantile Douche: {launches into lengthy diatribe about the cost of brewing beer and state laws about alcohol consumption. also uses condescending tone and has hipster mutton chops}
Bar Patron: "Geez man, I was just curious... I'll take a pale ale"
Mercantile Douche: {ignores social cue from patron that he doesn't want or need the lecture and continues his butthurt speech about why you should pay the same price for less on the IPA, eventually does poor beer}

"Wow, I just asked that bartender why the IPA cost a dollar more than the pale ale. He got super butthurt about defensive and started lecturing me about the cost of making beer. What a Mercantile Douche."
by kingofthedodge December 31, 2018
mugGet the Mercantile Douchemug.

douche pontoon

A person achieves this maximum level after evolving from the form douche canoe. Only the douchiest of douche canoes can obtain this legendary final form. Proceed with caution, because standing close to them for long periods of time is more legal than bathing in nuclear waste.
Ohhh my god! Tabitha has evolved into the final form of a douche pontoon! Run for your life!!
by PaulieD13 May 9, 2017
mugGet the douche pontoonmug.

douche kabob

Regarding the employment industry; a group of 4 or more people coming in to fill out an application for employment with only 1 person that speaks english.
Here comes a douche kabob, want to place bets on which one speaks english?
by Mrs. Hotits Ann Asses July 12, 2010
mugGet the douche kabobmug.

Douche Bagel

An egocentric goof that aspires to be a f*ckboy. A person that spends the day rummaging through garbage and fishing in a mud puddle by side of barn. Lives in board shorts and always has a bong in hand. This persons vocabulary is capped at 200 words. Like moldy cream cheese on a burnt bagel, this persons cocky jokes are unappetizing and stale.

(May or may not shower weekly)
This Douche bagel keeps repeating "Yo, Gintel you there?", it is not funny.
by Sweet Banana June 3, 2023
mugGet the Douche Bagelmug.

Douche nozzle

Someone that is compensation for his Peter through doucheness
that Kevin guy is a real douche nozzle he must be compensating for something
by bmorr May 3, 2019
mugGet the Douche nozzlemug.

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