scissor me timber

The act of two females scissoring while a male is underneath with his penis up between their vagina's.

I caught an early flight home and walked in on my wife scissoring some chick, to which I replied "Hmmmm... Perhaps this would be a good time to scissor me timber!"

by Ssylar October 27, 2008

Portland Timbers

The Portland Timbers are a soccer team from the quaint inland village of Portland which resides near the mouth of the Colombia River in the Oregon Territory.

Know for their lack of finishing skills, The Timbers are the known as the perpetual bit*h of both the Seattle Sounders and Vancouver Whitecaps. 2011 will mark the Timbers integration with the fashionable MLS soccer league of the glorious USA.

2006 was a very disappointing season for many reasons for the Portland Timbers, and their fans. The team finishing tied for last in the table with a franchise worst 7-15-6 (27 points) record, the Offensive production was last in the league as the club only netted 25 goals, and the Timbers lost their derby with heated rival Seattle Sounders.

by icefunk December 10, 2009

Temperamental

A person that can explode at any given moment, one minute everything can be super-duper and their company that of something wonderful and the next they are loathsome. They are very volatile and often the hothead. I know this how? I am describing me.

Joe Bloggs: "Hey come on wake up its 7 AM I am up so get your lazy ass out of bed"

Temperamental person: "GET THE $#%! OUT OF MY $#%!ing ROOM YOU STUPID $#%!"

..A while later..

Joe Bloggs: "Oh so you have finally emerged then and are you all right now?"

Temperamental person: "Huh, what you on about? I have always been fine what's for breakfast?"

Joe Bloggs: "Err your little going off on one?"

Temperamental person: "Yeah well, you shouldn't disturb my morning time then should you luv!"

Joe Bloggs: "Well YOU should be up and not sleeping the morn away!"

Temperamental person: "$#%! OFF YOU STUPID PIECE OF $#%!.. I AM NOT YOU SO STOP INTERFERING THE $#%! IN MY $#%!ing life!!!"

..End..

by PeggyLuXXX December 9, 2008

timberologist

A timberologist is one who is knowledgeable about the origins, attributes, positive and negative aspects, and retail value of all types of wood, timber, lumber, and any other type of tree product.

I consulted my local timberologist at Lowes about the type of wood would be best for my new coffee table.

by Bretton and Brandon May 7, 2004

Timbercrawling

A form of offroad recreation that involves rednecks with big trucks bouncing through the trees and spilling their beer.

It's also a website (www.timbercrawler.com) where Jeeps and porn are the topics of discussion.

I went drinkin' and shooting with Bubba in his 4x4 last night, we were Timbercrawling!

by camoloveslance March 5, 2009

check my temperature

To see what kind of mood a person is in

girl: my boyfriend stayed out all night now he is blowin' my phone up. I'm too pissed to talk!! He's just trying to check my temperature, he knows I'm mad!!

by ngorman April 3, 2009

Timber Wolves

A group of three or more women who are nice enough when alone and away from their pack, but when put together are ruthless and have no regard for how they act or how they treat people around them. They are very protective of their fellow wolves. Timber Wolves usually make awesome drinking buddies if you can get close enough.

Some Guy: Man, check out those Timber Wolves dancing in a circle around their purses.

Some Dude: I am so going to buy that blonde a drink.

Some Guy: DON'T DO IT BRO!! They look like man eaters buddy.

by Tequila Johnson March 30, 2009